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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595678">Six Reacts to Six</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl8of0many8fandoms/pseuds/girl8of0many8fandoms'>girl8of0many8fandoms</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Musical Reacts [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Six - Marlow/Moss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Don't Like Don't Read, Gen, as soon as ik what ships to do, react fic, tags will change</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:09:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl8of0many8fandoms/pseuds/girl8of0many8fandoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The queens in Six: the Musical are resurrected, and they are forced to watch the musical about them. Fun, right? </p><p>Disclaimer: I only own Melinda. The script is owned by whoever produced Six, I'm guessing Marlow/Moss.</p><p>ON HIATUS</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anne Boleyn &amp; Katherine Howard, Anne Boleyn/Catherine of Aragon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Musical Reacts [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017196</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>309</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Previously on Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tw for death</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catherine knew she was dying for a long, long time. The doctors could do nothing for her, except make her comfortable in her last moments. Even then, her luxurious bed didn't do much. As cancer claimed her heart, Catherine prayed. She prayed that God would forgive Henry for wronging her. She prayed that her soul would be pardoned. She prayed. . .</p><p>And just like that, Catherine of Aragon breathed her last breaths.</p><p>~ </p><p>Anne Boleyn batted her eyes at the swordsman. If she was going to die, she was going to die talking. With more than two thousand people watching, her beheading was a public spectacle. She grinned up at everyone. "Do not think, good people, that I am sorry to die, or that I have done anything to deserve this death."</p><p>My fault has been my great pride, and the great crime I committed in getting the King to leave my mistress Queen Katherine for my sake, and I pray God to pardon me for it. I say to you all that everything they have accused me of is false, and the principal reason I am to die is Jane Seymour, as I was the cause of the ill that befell my mistress." She bowed her head as the executioner swung his sword.</p><p>No, Anne had done nothing to deserve the sword. She had not done what Henry had accused her of. And yet, she smiled as the sword pierced her neck. Anne Boleyn was not sorry to die.</p><p>~</p><p>Jane Seymour panted, watching the midwife take her son away. Her stomach throbbed in pain. At that moment, she was certain of one thing: she was going to die. She mourned the loss of her life with her son and husband, although if her marriage was anything to go by, it wouldn't have been much of a life to lose. Jane clutched Henry's hand, looking into his eyes. "Will you do something for me, my love?" she asked, gathering her last vestiges of strength to speak.</p><p>"Anything." he promised.</p><p>"Respect your next wife." She shook her head as the king opened his mouth to respond. "I have never done anything to wrong you, and yet you treat me with disdain. You divorced your first wife and beheaded the second." Jane struggled with the next words, growing weaker and weaker. Finally, her head fell back as she started to speak.</p><p>"No, my head has never committed any treason: but if you want it, you can take it."</p><p>With those last words, Jane Seymour passed away.</p><p>~</p><p>To say Anna of Cleves died in comfort was an understatement. She was at Chelsea Manor, London, bedridden. Anna made sure that every member of her household were left copious amounts of money. The money itself was a nice gift from Henry, given to her so her country wouldn't go to war with his. She smiled slightly at the thought of Henry. They were only married for five months, and then he divorced her because she wasn't pretty enough. Anna knew that was nonsense, of course.</p><p>She knew she was dying soon, so Anna summoned Mary and Elizabeth. "My dears," she asked. "would you please employ my servants in your homes?" The two women promised to do so, as Anna smiled once more and died.</p><p>~</p><p>19 years old wasn't an uncommon age to die. Sure, people lived a lot longer, but 19-year-olds died all the time. At least, that's what Katherine Howard told herself as she stumbled towards the swordsman. She trembled, tripping twice more until knights were sent to help her. Once she was finally in front of the executioner, she turned her eyes to where she knew the heads of Thomas and Francis were mounted. Henry had stuck their heads on spikes two months ago. Back then, all Katherine could do was mourn in prison. Now, on the chopping block herself, she hoped people would mourn her.</p><p>Katherine turned back to the swordsman, not once looking at Henry. She spoke once, keeping her eyes trained on the sword. "I die a queen, but I would rather die a wife of Culpeper." She bowed her head as the executioner swung his sword. Katherine Howard would be reunited with her lover in the afterlife.</p><p>~</p><p>Catherine Parr was happy. Sure, she was dying, and sure, she would never get to have a life with her daughter, but at least she was with her husband. Her REAL husband. Henry may have died two years into their marriage, and he may have written her in his will, but he was a complete arse during their marriage, and he had taken her away from who she truly wanted to marry. Having contracted childbed fever, Catherine was just happy to have been able to hold her daughter. She squeezed her husband's hand for the last time, and Catherine Parr was no more.</p><p>~</p><p>That's what she, and the other five queens thought, at least. The six ex-wives of Henry somehow woke up in a strange room, in the presence of one peculiarly-clothed girl. "Welcome," she said, smiling at the others. "to 2020."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. What the Heck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens try to figure out what the heck is going on.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The queens all started shouting at once. It went a little something like this:</p><p>"Who-"</p><p>"What-"</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"How-"</p><p>"When-"</p><p>"You-"</p><p>"STOP!" the girl shouted. She waved her arms in an attempt to calm the other women down. They stopped shouting, if only to stare at her in confusion. "I know you are all confused. You guys have just died. I-" she gestured to herself, knowing full well it would be seen as condescending. "-am Melinda. I brought you guys here to watch something." She slowly turned around to a black screen mounted on a wall, while the queens watched suspiciously. The TV flickered on, displaying the words "six slime tutorial." </p><p>"You guys died in the 1500s. It is now 2020. There is a musical about you guys and how Henry VIII treated you like [bleep]." The bleep startled the ex-wives, but not more than the fact that there was a musical about them, and not Henry. Melinda sensed their confusion, and grinned. "I assure you, it's all about YOU. A lot of things have changed since you've died, and this is the product of those changes." </p><p>Parr smiled. She was happy that women were treated better in the future (if this girl could be trusted), and she was also happy that it was known that Henry was a horrible person. </p><p>Seymour frowned slightly. If it truly was 2020, then that would mean that her son had lived his life. If only she could've been there to see it. . .</p><p>Cleves smirked. Henry had treated her SO horribly, and given her NOTHING except for riches and a castle! </p><p>The only reason Howard didn't go back to being dead was because she was ready to see Henry getting dragged. He had killed her lover, and given her horrible sex. And who knows, maybe this girl could be trusted. </p><p>Aragon glared daggers at Boleyn. That disrespectful doxy, wearing yellow to her God-fearing funeral. She deserved what she got. But to see Henry's reputation being dragged through the mud? She'd pay to see that.</p><p>Boleyn picked at her neck, surprised to feel nothing, not even a scar. Beheadings usually leave a scar. And she was suspicious of "Melinda." If someone resurrects you and brings you to the future, it's probably not for a good purpose.</p><p>Melinda clapped her hands excitedly. She sensed a lot of distrust and confusion, but hopefully that could be fixed. "Okay, well, I hope we can all get along in the future, but I'd really, really love if you all sat down on the couches and watched." The queens made their way over to the plush couches, stunned at how comfortable it was. No one of Melinda's age would be able to afford this material. And what even IS this material? They were brought out of their thoughts by a bleep. Melinda had taken out some kind of contraption and pressed a button repeatedly, sounding the bleep they had heard. She looked up, smiled at them, and brought out another device, pointing it at the screen and pressing the middle.</p><p>"Let the show begin!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>word count: around 500</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Ex-Wives</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens listen to the first song of the musical, Ex-Wives</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw for caps</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The screen showed a dark stage, six figures standing tall. </p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Divorced</strong>
</p><p>Aragon supposed it was her whose voice had rang out. She was still suspicious, but she'd always had a soft spot for music.</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNE BOLEYN]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Beheaded</strong>
</p><p>Boleyn preened, not regretting her death.</p><p>
  <strong>[JANE SEYMOUR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Died</strong>
</p><p>Seymour smiled ruefully. </p><p>
  <strong>[ANNE OF CLEVES]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Divorced</strong>
</p><p>Cleves grinned, already enjoying the show.</p><p>
  <strong>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Beheaded</strong>
</p><p>Katherine and Boleyn looked at each other awkwardly. Cousins, indeed.</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE PARR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Survived</strong>
</p><p>The other five queens glared at Parr, who merely shrugged in response.</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON, spoken]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And tonight, we are...</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Live!</strong>
</p><p>Whoa. These women were good. Maybe this musical won't be a complete waste of time and prolongment of death. </p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Listen up, let me tell you a story</strong>
</p><p>Melinda vibrated with excitement; the six queens got the message to stay far, far away.</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNE BOLEYN]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>A story that you think you've heard before</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[JANE SEYMOUR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>We know you know our names</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And our fame </strong>
</p><p>Fame. The queens were famous now. Imagine that.</p><p>
  <strong>And our faces</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Know all about the glories</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And the disgraces</strong>
</p><p>Everyone grimaced.</p><p>
  <strong>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I'm done 'cause all this time</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme</strong>
</p><p>So sexism still existed. Yay.</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE PARR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>So I picked up a pen and a microphone</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>History's about to get overthrown</strong>
</p><p>Everyone smirked. They were so ready for this show.</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Divorced</strong>
</p><p>Aragon grinned now, less suspicious than before. </p><p>
  <strong>[ANNE BOLEYN]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Beheaded</strong>
</p><p>Boleyn flipped her hair, "accidentally" whacking Aragon in the face.</p><p>
  <strong>[JANE SEYMOUR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Died</strong>
</p><p>Once again, Seymour was sad.</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Divorced</strong>
</p><p>Cleves kicked up her feet, placing them on the table to the gasps of disgust from the other queens.</p><p>
  <strong>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Beheaded</strong>
</p><p>Howard withdrew in on herself. </p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE PARR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Survived</strong>
</p><p>"Hmph." the others went.</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But just for you tonight</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>We're divorced, beheaded live</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Welcome to the show, to the historemix</strong>
</p><p>What an interesting way to combine the words! This musical was awesome, and it's only the first song.</p><p>
  <strong>Switching up the flow as we add the prefix</strong>
</p><p>"Clever, because the name of this song is 'Ex-Wives,'" Melinda whispered.</p><p>
  <strong>Everybody knows that we used to be six wives</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raising up the roof till we hit the ceiling</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Everybody knows that we used to be six wives</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But now we're ex-wives</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>All you ever hear and read about</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNE BOLEYN]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Is our ex and the way it ended</strong>
</p><p>Was the sexism really that bad in the future?</p><p>
  <strong>[JANE SEYMOUR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush</strong>
</p><p>What...does that mean?</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You're gonna find out how we got unfriended</strong>
</p><p>Yay. The future sounded so fun.</p><p>
  <strong>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Tonight we gonna do ourselves justice</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>'Cause we're taking you to court</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE PARR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Every Tudor Rose has its thorns</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And you're gonna hear 'em live in consort</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Divorced</strong>
</p><p>Aragon smiled sweetly, realizing she would have to do something every time onscreen-her said "divorced."</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNE BOLEYN]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Beheaded</strong>
</p><p>Boleyn mimicked Aragon.</p><p>
  <strong>[JANE SEYMOUR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Died</strong>
</p><p>Seymour closed her eyes.</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Divorced</strong>
</p><p>Cleves winked.</p><p>
  <strong>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Beheaded</strong>
</p><p>Howard waved.</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE PARR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Survived</strong>
</p><p>Parr held up a fist.</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But just for you tonight</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>We're divorced, beheaded live</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Welcome to the show, to the historemix</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Switching up the flow as we add the prefix</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Everybody knows that we used to be six wives</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Dancing to the beat till the break of day, once</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>We're done, we'll start again like it's the Renaissance</strong>
</p><p>The Renaissance! That's a term they were all familiar with.</p><p>
  <strong>Everybody knows that we used to be six wives</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But now we're ex-wives</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Remember us from your GCSEs?</strong>
</p><p>GCSEs? They had a lot to catch up on.</p><p>
  <strong>Divorced</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>My name is Catherine of Aragon</strong>
</p><p>Real-life Aragon grinned. Let the roasting of Henry VIII begin.</p><p>
  <strong>Was married twenty-four years, </strong>
</p><p>Boleyn smirked.</p><p>
  <strong>I'm a paragon</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>So if you try to dump me</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You won't try that again</strong>
</p><p>The actress winked, turning away to give Boleyn the spotlight.</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Beheaded</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNE BOLEYN]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I'm that Boleyn girl</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And I'm up next, see</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I broke England from the Church</strong>
</p><p>Aragon glared at Boleyn.</p><p>
  <strong>Yeah, I'm that sexy</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Why did I lose my head?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Well my sleeves may be green</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But my lipstick's red</strong>
</p><p>Boleyn smirked, the only person in the room who knew the truth. No, she had not cheated on Henry. But they didn't need to know.</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Died</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[JANE SEYMOUR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved</strong>
</p><p>Seymour looked up, surprised.</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL, spoken]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Rude</strong>
</p><p>"Rude," the other queens spoke at the same time. Everyone turned to Seymour.</p><p>
  <strong>[JANE SEYMOUR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>When my son was newly born, I died</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But I'm not what I seem, or am I?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Stick around and you'll suddenly see more</strong>
</p><p>Huh, the actress had said phrases that were the same as "Seymour." That was almost...funny.</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Divorced</strong>
</p><p>Cleves gave her actress a once-over - she seemed talented.</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ich bin Anna of Cleves</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ja</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>When he saw my portrait he was like—</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jaa</strong>
</p><p>Cleves shuddered.</p><p>
  <strong>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic</strong>
</p><p>Cleves rolled her eyes.</p><p>
  <strong>Funny how we all discuss that</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But never Henry's little—</strong>
</p><p>Everyone leaned forward in the split-second they could.</p><p>
  <strong>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine</strong>
</p><p>They all groaned, leaning back into the couches. The joke was still funny, though.</p><p>
  <strong>Who lost her head</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Beheaded</strong>
</p><p>Howard scratched her neck. If she wasn't careful, it could become a nervous tic.</p><p>
  <strong>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>For my promiscuity outside of wed</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>K. Howard is here and the fun's begun</strong>
</p><p>Boleyn grinned and high-fived her cousin.</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Survived</strong>
</p><p>Parr smiled sheepishly.</p><p>
  <strong>[CATHERINE PARR]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Five down, I'm the final wife</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I saw him to the end of his life</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I bet you wanna know how I got this far</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I said, I bet you wanna know how we got this far</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Hey!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[ALL]</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Do you wanna know how we got this far?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Then welcome to the show, to the historemix</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Switching up the flow as we add the prefix</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Everybody knows that we used to be six wives</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Get your hands up, get this party buzzing</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You want a queen bee? Well there's half a dozen</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>The six queens grinned, cementing their love for this musical.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Everybody knows that we used to be six wives</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But now we're ex-wives</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>One, two, three, four, five</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Six</strong>
</p><p>Whoa. The queens were excited to see what happens next!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>word count: around 1000</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Dialogue + Ex-Wives Reprise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The real-life queens watch the onscreen queens give a little backstory.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw for caps</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The queens shifted on the couches, more comfortable then in the beginning, but still apprehensive.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>How are you doing tonight?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We said, how are you doing tonight?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We are...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Six</b>
</p><p>The actresses were really good.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And welcome to our divorced, beheaded, live tour!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We've got a whole lot in store for you tonight</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We've got riffs to ruffle your ruffs!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON RIFFS]</b>
</p><p>Aragon preened.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shimmys to shake up your Chemise</b>
</p><p>Chemise...?</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And a whole lot of history.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Or as we like to call it - her-story.</b>
</p><p>This caused a few chuckles. Not bad.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL LAUGH]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So obviously you know who we are.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Please, no portraits.</b>
</p><p>Cleves smirked.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But give it up for our ladies-in-waiting!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We got Maggie on the guitar!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[MAGGIE DOES A SOLO]</b>
</p><p>Boleyn raised her eyebrows. They couldn't possibly mean...Margaret Lee?</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Bessie on the bass!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BESSIE DOES A SOLO]</b>
</p><p>Aragon and Cleves glanced at each other. Bessie Blount was one of two things that connected them. </p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And killing it on the keys, we've got Joan!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JOAN DOES A SOLO]</b>
</p><p>Seymour smiled. So her friend Joan Meutas hadn't been forgotten.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And with beats so sick they'll give you gout, it's Maria on the drums!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[MARIA DOES A SOLO]</b>
</p><p>Aragon grinned. Maria de Salinas had been with her until she died. (Thanks to @MizukiYoru1234 on WP for this info)</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So you came here to party with us tonight old-school.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Really, really old-school. But we're not here to have fun!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Uh-uh, we've got a serious score to settle.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We've been in the shadow of one man for too long</b>
</p><p>"Mmm." The queens all nodded.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And we came here tonight to step back into the spotlight</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The problem is there's-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Six</b>
</p><p>That's gonna get old.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And we know you've all got your favorites</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everyone always wants to know who's the most important wife</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And they've been arguing about it for centuries</b>
</p><p>The six looked at each other. They had never considered that...but who was the most important wife?</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We've heard it all...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who lasted the longest was the strongest</b>
</p><p>Aragon nodded.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The biggest sinner is obvs the winner</b>
</p><p>Boleyn winced. She didn't plan on being remembered as a sinner when she hadn't even sinned.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who had the son takes number one</b>
</p><p>A tear trailed down Seymour's cheek. She didn't think she could handle this musical if it kept reminding her of her lost life.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who was most chased shall be first placed</b>
</p><p>"Why thank you."</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Most inglorious is victorious</b>
</p><p>Howard stared straight ahead, not regretting one bit of that inglorious-ness. </p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The winning contestant was the most protest-ant</b>
</p><p>The other queens, both onscreen and off, looked at Parr.</p><p>
  <b>Protestant!</b>
</p><p>Parr pointed at the screen, raising her eyebrows.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But we came here tonight to answer your questions once and for all</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And tell you whatcha want, whatcha really really want...to know</b>
</p><p>Judging by Melinda's slight snicker, that must be a reference.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That's right, we're gonna help you figure out which one of us is-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The queen of the castle</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The rose among the thorns</b>
</p><p>Nice metaphor.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Thomas Cromwell amongst the royal ministers between 1532 and 1540.</b>
</p><p>The other queens looked at Howard, who shrugged. She definitely wasn't a huge history nerd. Definitely.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But how the purgatory are they going to choose their leading lady?</b>
</p><p>Hell couldn't possibly be such a <em>scandalous</em> word in the future.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hold up! If this is going to be a fair competition, they're gonna have to judge us on the one thing we all have common.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The one to take the crown should be the one who had the biggest</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The firmest</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The fullest</b>
</p><p>Everyone groaned.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Load of BS to deal with the man who put a ring on it</b>
</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So, we're going to hold a little contest for you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And the rules are simple:</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The queen who was dealt the worst hand</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The queen who had the most hardships to withstand</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The queen who everything didn't really go as planned</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shall be the one to lead the band!</b>
</p><p>The queens looked at each other. They didn't know who was the most important wife, but to be honest, it didn't matter. Henry was horrible, plain and simple.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So, what do you think? Are you ready to choose your leading lady?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We said, are you ready?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Welcome to the show</b>
</p><p>Ooh, singing.</p><p>
  <b>To the coronation</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who will take the crown</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Be the pop sensation</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everybody knows that we used to be six wives</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Six wives</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Six wives</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Six wives</b>
</p><p>The overlapping voices sounded beautiful as the queens leaned back to watch the rest of the show.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>word count: around 800</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Aragon's History</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch as onscreen Aragon talks about her history.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw for caps</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But there's only one queen you need to hear tonight. I'm about to win this competition. Maria, give me a beat.</b>
</p><p>Aragon smirked at the other queens. She wasn't actually sure she'd win, but it wouldn't hurt to act like it.</p><p>
  <b>[MARIA GIVES HER A BEAT]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So, since the day I arrived in England, let's just say my faith had been tested on more than one occasion. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>First things first, I was shipped off from Spain on the night of my sweet sixteen to marry some prince called Arthur and I'm like "okay". </b>
</p><p><em>Sixteen years old.</em> In the past, people were fricked up. </p><p>
  <b>But then Arthur died, so naturally I'm imprisoned for seven years. </b>
</p><p>"Naturally," Melinda whispered.</p><p>
  <b>Really helped with the grieving process, </b>
</p><p>Aragon snickered. The amount of sarcasm in this was giving her life.</p><p>
  <b>You know, but I'm still like, "okay." </b>
</p><p>
  <b>But thank God they rescued me just in time to marry Prince Henry... my dead husband's brother. </b>
</p><p>She raised her eyebrows at the other queens. Yeah, this was her life.</p><p>
  <b>Okay, so I'm thinking "bit weird", but if you'd seen him back in the summer of '09. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Let me tell you he was okay. </b>
</p><p>Oof. </p><p>
  <b>So seven years later, we're still trying for an heir. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>He's trying really hard and I'm like "okay", and he starts coming home late. "I was just out with my ministers!" </b>
</p><p>Boleyn smiled sweetly.</p><p>
  <b>But there's lipstick on his ruff. And I'm like "okay". </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Suddenly, he wants to annul our marriage, move some side chick into my palace and move me into a convent! </b>
</p><p>Aragon glared at Boleyn, who just stared back.</p><p>
  <b>Now, now, now, now, I just don't think I'd look that good in a wimple, so I'm like "No way."</b>
</p><p>And so "No Way" began.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>word count: around 300</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. No Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Aragon sing "No Way."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw for caps</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aragon smirked as her yellow look-a-like took to the stage.</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>N-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's no way</b>
</p><p>"Consent matters," Melinda whispered.</p><p>
  <b>You must agree that baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>In all the time I've been by your side</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I've never lost control</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No matter how many times I knew you lied</b>
</p><p>Aragon nodded, remembering all the times Henry had come back late, with his clothes all rumpled up. </p><p>
  <b>Have my golden rule</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Got to keep my cool</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You know she's got to keep her cool</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And even though you've had your fun</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Running around with some pretty young thing</b>
</p><p>Boleyn beamed, glancing at Aragon to try and gauge her reaction. </p><p>
  <b>And even though you've had one son</b>
</p><p>
  <b>With someone who don't own a wedding ring</b>
</p><p>Melinda should really research more about these six wives. She had no idea who his son was.</p><p>
  <b>No matter what I heard</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I didn't say a word</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You know she never said a word</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I put up with your sh—</b>
</p><p>Melinda giggled, while the other queens were confused as to what she was going to say.</p><p>
  <b>Like every single day</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But now it's time to shh</b>
</p><p>Aragon smirked. She was really warming up to this musical.</p><p>
  <b>And listen when I say</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Woo!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You must think that I'm crazy</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You wanna replace me?</b>
</p><p>Boleyn beamed once again.</p><p>
  <b>Baby, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If you think for a moment</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'd grant you annulment, just hold up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>That was a lot of n's. How many times were they going to do that, exactly?</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So you read a Bible verse that I'm cursed</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I was your brother's wife</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You say it's a pity 'cause, quoting Leviticus</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll end up kiddy-less all my life</b>
</p><p>Ooh, that was a mouthful. These actresses were impressive!</p><p>
  <b>Well, daddy, weren't you there</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When I gave birth to Mary?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Aw, hi, baby!</b>
</p><p>Ah, Mary I, also known as Bloody Mary. She was a nightmare, that one.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Daughters are so easy to forget</b>
</p><p>Aragon frowned. She had loved Mary, it would be horrible if she was forgotten by history.</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You're just so full of sh—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Must think that I'm naïve</b>
</p><p>Aragon shook her head, wishing Henry was resurrected so she could slap him into next century.</p><p>
  <b>I won't back down, won't shh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And know I'll never leave</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You must think that I'm crazy</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You wanna replace me?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Baby, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If you thought it'd be funny to</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Send me to a nunnery</b>
</p><p>Aragon scowled.</p><p>
  <b>Honey, there's no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's no way</b>
</p><p>Parr started swaying to the music, enjoying the beat. Soon the other queens joined her, shimmying to the song as the queens onscreen danced.</p><p>
  <b>Hey!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(Woo!)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(Let's go!)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(Woo!)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(Here we go!)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You've got me down on my knees</b>
</p><p>"That's what she said," Melinda muttered, then clamped her hand over her mouth. She was watching too much of "The Office."</p><p>
  <b>Please tell me what you think I've done wrong</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Been humble, been loyal, I've tried</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To swallow my pride all along</b>
</p><p>At this, Boleyn winced. </p><p>
  <b>If you can just explain</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A single thing I've done to cause you pain, I'll go</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[sung]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You've got nothing to say</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm not going away</b>
</p><p>Aragon glared at Boleyn, who finally started to seem sorry. Melinda smiled, happy to see her green queen get a conscience.</p><p>
  <b>There's no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You must think that I'm crazy</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You wanna replace me?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Baby, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You made me your wife</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So I'll be queen till the end of my life</b>
</p><p>"Then perish," Boleyn whispered. She didn't mean it, of course, but it was a genius comeback.</p><p>
  <b>N-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>N-n-n-n-nope n-nope n-nope no! (No way)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No! (No way)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's no way!</b>
</p><p>The queens cheered as the onscreen Aragon finished her song. Even if this was supposed to be a competition, they could still appreciate some dam fine singing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Dialogue In Between</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch the onscreen queens chit-chat.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is the last of the pre-written chapters so updates will be at least every wednesday.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aragon grinned, "No Way's" notes still ringing in her ears. Her actress had <em>crushed</em> that performance.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So clearly, I had the most to deal with from the king. And I hit that top C so you know, like dónde está my crown? Por favor.</b>
</p><p>Aragon smirked, knowing that she probably wouldn't win but still playing up her confidence.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hang on a sec. Who was that other one?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I think you're thinking of me!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, there was definitely a really important one.</b>
</p><p>Really important? Who could that possibly be?</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, still me!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah. I think she, like, overlapped with you.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn perked up, grinning.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, the really important, controversial one that people actually care about.</b>
</p><p>Aragon was <em>outraged</em><em>. </em>She could accept not winning but to have people suggest that <em>that</em> <em>girl</em> was more important to her? </p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah. You know...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The one you've been waiting for.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The one you've been waiting for.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The mystery,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The one who changed history.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn posed, choosing not to look at a certain queen who was glaring daggers at her.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>History,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The one who changed history, mystery,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The temptress.</b>
</p><p>"Thanks." </p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The one with the plan,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The plan to steal the man!</b>
</p><p>Aragon's lip curled. </p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Anne!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The one who chased the king,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But paid the price with a swordsman's swing.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn scratched her neck, still unable to wrap her mind around the fact that she didn't have a scar. She was almost...disappointed. Then again, she was alive, and that was more than she asked for.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Will she be the one to win?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn!</b>
</p><p>The queens were...not exactly excited, but ready to see Boleyn's song.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Don't Lose Ur Head</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Boleyn's song, although they hit a few snags along the way.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>y'all sorry this is so late!!! this song is really long but hopefully the dialogue in between will be faster to write. hope you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The camera centered on Boleyn, who was laughing at a rectangular device in her hand. The real-life queens glanced at real-life Boleyn, who shrugged. </p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What? Oh</b>
</p><p>She paused to hold the device up, then made her way to center stage. Iconic. </p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Grew up in the French court</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oui oui bonjour</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Life was a chore</b>
</p><p>Melinda remembered watching the "Six in a nutshell" video on Youtube. She snickered, making a note to have the queens watch that after. </p><p>
  <b>So</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She set sail</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>1522 came straight to the UK</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All the British dudes lame</b>
</p><p>"Obviously not," Aragon scoffed. She was determined to hate every bit of Boleyn's song, even though the song was catchy and the actress was cute. </p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Epic fail!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I wanna dance and sing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Politics</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Not my thing</b>
</p><p>Melinda frowned at that. She had read somewhere that Six had gotten Boleyn's personality wrong, but she didn't know much about that, so oh well.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But then I met the king</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And soon my daddy said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>"You should try and get ahead!"</b>
</p><p>The queens laughed, then looked nervously at Boleyn. Would she be offended?</p><p>
  <b>He wanted me, obviously</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kept messaging me like every day</b>
</p><p>Boleyn wrinkled her nose.</p><p>
  <b>Couldn't be better then he sent me a letter</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And who am I kidding</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I was prêt à manger</b>
</p><p>Anyone who understood French and dirty jokes choked. Melinda was <em>definitely</em> not one of them.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sent a reply</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just saying 'Hi'</b>
</p><p>Aragon glared.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'You're a nice guy</b>
</p><p>"NO!"</p><p>
  <b>I'll think about it maybe</b>
</p><p>
  <b>XO baby'</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Uh oh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Here we go</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You sent him kisses?!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I didn't know I would move in with his missus</b>
</p><p>Boleyn smirked at Aragon, who glared at her again.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What?!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get a life!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You were living with his wife?</b>
</p><p>Aragon pursed her lips.</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Like, what was I meant to do?</b>
</p><p>"Not...live with his wife?"</p><p>
  <b>Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm just trying to have some fun</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't worry, don't worry</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't lose your head</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I didn't mean to hurt anyone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>LOL</b>
</p><p>What...does that mean?</p><p>
  <b>Say 'Oh, well!'</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Or go to hell!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't lose your head</b>
</p><p>Boleyn raised her eyebrows. <em>Wow</em>.</p><p>
  <b>Three in the bed</b>
</p><p>Both Boleyn and Aragon blushed. Melinda grinned and took a photo.</p><p>
  <b>And the little one said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>"If you wanna be wed</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Make up your mind!"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Her or me, chum</b>
</p><p>"ME!" Both the yellow and green queens shouted.</p><p>
  <b>Don't wanna be some</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Girl in a threesome</b>
</p><p>Aragon and Boleyn opened their mouths, only to be interrupted by Melinda. "KICK HENRY OUT!"</p><p>"WH-"</p><p>
  <b>Are you blind?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't be bitter</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I'm fitter</b>
</p><p>"So help me God I'LL-"</p><p>Melinda snapped her fingers and both Aragon and Boleyn disappeared. She smirked, the only one knowing that they were shoved in a closet together where it was impossible for them to fight. Literally. She made it impossible for them to fight.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Why hasn't it hit her?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He doesn't wanna bang you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Somebody hang you</b>
</p><p>Howard winced. Melinda passed her popcorn. "Whenever there's something I don't wanna see, I just crunch popcorn really loudly in my mouth." she whispered.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Uh oh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Here we go</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Your comment went viral</b>
</p><p>What did viral mean? Gosh, the future had so many new words.</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I didn't really mean it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But rumours spiral</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you!</b>
</p><p>After doing minutes of research, Melinda found out that Aragon was shown a lot of sympathy after Boleyn spoke out against her. People didn't exactly like her, even after she married Henry. You learn something new everyday, right?</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Mate, what was I meant to do?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sorry, not sorry about what I said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm just trying to have some fun</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't worry, don't worry</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't lose your head</b>
</p><p>Howard crunched her popcorn. She was fine with listening to the song, the popcorn was just really good.</p><p>
  <b>I didn't mean to hurt anyone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>LOL</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Say 'Oh, well!'</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Or go to hell!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't lose your head</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tried to elope</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But the Pope said 'Nope!'</b>
</p><p>A chorus of "ah"'s went around the room. They definitely remembered the Church of England.</p><p>
  <b>Our only hope was Henry</b>
</p><p>Everyone grimaced.</p><p>
  <b>He got a promotion</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Caused a commotion</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Set in motion the C of E</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The rules</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Were so outdated</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Us two wanted to get X-rated</b>
</p><p>Everyone grimaced again. They did NOT want to remember doing it with Henry.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Soon</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Excommunicated</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everybody chill</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's totes God's will</b>
</p><p>The Christians in the room snorted. </p><p>
  <b>[WEDDING CHIMES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hold up! Lemme tell you how it went down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Henry's out every night on the town</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just sleeping around like "What the hell?"</b>
</p><p>Seymour cast her eyes downward.</p><p>
  <b>If that's how it's gonna be</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three</b>
</p><p>"GIRL!" Melinda shouted over "three."</p><p>
  <b>Just to make him jel</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Henry finds out and he goes mental</b>
</p><p>"Surprise, surprise." Cleves muttered.</p><p>
  <b>He screams and shouts like</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So judgemental!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You damned witch</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Mate, just shut up!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I wouldn't be such a b...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If you could get it up</b>
</p><p>Oh, wow. Such slander against Henry, and the queens were <em>loving</em> it.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Uh oh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Here we go</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is that what you said?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And now he's going 'round like</b>
</p><p>
  <b>"Off with her head!"</b>
</p><p>Crunch.</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Seems it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What was I meant to do?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What was she meant to do?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Like, what was I meant to do?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What was she meant to do?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, but what was I meant to do?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What was she meant to do?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, guys, seriously, he's actually gonna chop my head off! </b>
</p><p>Melinda tilted her head, than snapped her fingers and brought Boleyn and Aragon back. The OC grinned at the looks on their faces.</p><p>
  <b>I mean, I guess he must've really liked my head...</b>
</p><p>The queens snickered.</p><p>
  <b>5, 6, 7, 8!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sorry, not sorry about what I said</b>
</p><p>The onscreen queens danced with gusto, and the real-life queens beamed and bobbed their heads along.</p><p>
  <b>I'm just trying to have some fun</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't worry, don't worry</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't lose your head</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I didn't mean to hurt anyone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>LOL</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Say 'Oh, well!'</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Or go to hell!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just go to hell!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sorry, not sorry about what I said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sorry, not sorry about what she said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sorry, not sorry about what I said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't lose your head</b>
</p><p>Melinda threw up her popcorn and cheered, startling the queens. They smiled uncertainly, admiring her enthusiasm.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Dialogue In Between</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The real-life queens watch the onscreen queens chat.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>updates will be dependent on how long the lyrics are, so dialogue is short, like three-five days, and songs are longer, at least five days (?)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Onscreen, Boleyn stood off to the side, separated from the other queens. The real-life queens looked at Seymour, who would inevitably be singing next.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So yeah. What a weekend.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wait, did you actually die?</b>
</p><p>Howard and Boleyn looked at each other, then snickered. Being flippant about death would hopefully help them go over it.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, it was so extra. </b>
</p><p>The beheaded cousins snickered again.</p><p>
  <b>Anyway, I'm obvs the winner, </b>
</p><p>"WHAT?" The real-life queens yelled.</p><p>
  <b>So I think I'll do another solo. My next song is one I wrote about the moment I found out Catherine of Aragon had tragically died. It's called "Wearing Yellow to a Funeral". </b>
</p><p>"WHAT?!?!" Guess who.</p><p>
  <b>Please sing along if you know the words.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN, sung]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Catherine was a massive-</b>
</p><p>The onscreen queens got <em>loud</em>. In real life, Aragon reached for Boleyn, but after Melinda glared at her, she settled back into her seat, glaring coolly at Boleyn. </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who decided you were the winner?</b>
</p><p>"Yeah!" Cleves exclaimed.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She wants another turn?</b>
</p><p>Parr glared at Boleyn, who simply blinked owlishly back.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Over my dead body!</b>
</p><p>Boleyn snickered.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Anyways, I'm pretty sure it's my turn next.</b>
</p><p>Everyone glanced at Seymour, who winced.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You? Queen, please!</b>
</p><p>Melinda giggled.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Are you joking?!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, weren't you the one he truly loved?</b>
</p><p>Seymour looked up, smiling slightly. Melinda shook her head.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh yeah, didn't you give him the son he so desperately wanted?</b>
</p><p>Seymour's smile disappeared.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, like, I had a daughter and he literally chopped my head off.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn raised her eyebrows and nodded.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, I know. I was lucky in so many ways. Well, I had a beautiful baby boy and Henry got his heir to the throne, so of course I was going to be the one he truly loved. But you know, if Edward had turned out to be a little baby Edwina, well, I know that his love wouldn't have lasted.</b>
</p><p>"That's not love, Jane." Melinda told her, patting her back. "You need to cut out toxic people in your life, starting with Henry."</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wow, yeah, what a stressful situation. I've never had anything similar happen.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn nodded again.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, babe, do you have any idea?</b>
</p><p>Aragon mocked Boleyn's nodding, which looked pretty stupid.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Okay okay, look, you're right. You're so right! You queens kicked some major Tudor ass!</b>
</p><p>Aragon and Boleyn grinned.</p><p>
  <b> And that's what everyone wants to hear about. You know, like, girl power, woo! </b>
</p><p>The queens cheered.</p><p>
  <b>What I mean to say is that, I wouldn't do any of that. </b>
</p><p> Melinda glared at anyone who opened their mouths to speak agains Jane "Mom" Seymour.</p><p>
  <b>Instead, I stood by him. It didn't matter how many stupid things he did. I was there, by his side. And that's... not because I was weak or scared. It's because... I loved him. </b>
</p><p>"Toxic," Melinda whispered.</p><p>
  <b>So, Henry...</b>
</p><p>Jane Seymour stayed center stage and began her solo.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Heart of Stone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Seymour's solo.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The queens relaxed with some suspicion as Seymour starts her solo. Melinda grinned, remembering all the content you could use to make fanedits in this song. </p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You've got a good heart<br/>
</b>
</p><p>Snorts echoed around the room.</p><p>
  <b>But I know it changes</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A restless tide, untameable</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You came my way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I knew a storm could come too</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'd lift me high, or let me fall</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I took your hand</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Promised I'd withstand</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Any blaze you blew my way</b>
</p><p>Melinda was really, really glad Henry was dead. </p><p>
  <b>'Cause something inside</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It solidified</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I knew I'd always stay</b>
</p><p>The other queens felt their hearts sinking at how bad Seymour had it. Not too low, though, they still had a competition to win.</p><p>
  <b>You can build me up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can tear me down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can try but I'm unbreakable</b>
</p><p>That's...actually cool. </p><p>
  <b>You can do your best</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I'll stand the test</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll find that I'm unshakeable</b>
</p><p>"Good on you," someone murmured. No one could tell who. Which was kind of weird, because there were only, like, seven people in the room. </p><p>
  <b>When the fire's burnt</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When the wind has blown</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When the water's dried</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll still find stone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My heart of stone</b>
</p><p>Melinda grinned, remembering when she used these lyrics for a Daisy Johnson edit. </p><p>
  <b>You say we're perfect</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A perfect family</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You hold us close for the world to see</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And when I say you're the only one I've ever loved</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I mean those words truthfully</b>
</p><p>It's been said several times before, but these actresses were <em>amazing</em>.</p><p>
  <b>But I know, without my son</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Your love could disappear</b>
</p><p>Everyone opened their mouths to say how unfair that was.</p><p>
  <b>And no, it isn't fair</b>
</p><p>They closed their mouths. </p><p>
  <b>But I don't care</b>
</p><p>The queen closest to Seymour (which was Parr) patted her on the back. </p><p>
  <b>'Cause my love will still be here</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can build me up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can tear me down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can try but I'm unbreakable</b>
</p><p>The queens started swaying to the music. It was a <em>really</em> good song.</p><p>
  <b>You can do your best</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I'll stand the test</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll find that I'm unshakeable</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When the fire's burnt</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When the wind has blown</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When the water's dried</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll still find stone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My heart of stone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Soon I'll have to go</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll never see him grow</b>
</p><p>Seymour closed her eyes, unable to stop the tears from flowing. Everyone gathered around her, offering their sympathies and consoling words. </p><p>
  <b>But I hope my son will know</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He'll never be alone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause like a river runs dry</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And leaves its scars behind</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll be by your side</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause my love is set in stone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah</b>
</p><p>Oh. My. <em>Gods</em>.</p><p>
  <b>[QUEENS (JANE SEYMOUR)]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can build me up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can tear me down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can try but I'm unbreakable (I'm unbreakable)</b>
</p><p><em>Beautiful</em>.</p><p>
  <b>You can do your best</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I'll stand the test (Ooh!)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll find that I'm unshakeable</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The fire's burnt (The fire's burnt)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The wind has blown (The wind has blown)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The water's dried (The water's dried)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JANE SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll still find stone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My heart of stone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[QUEENS (JANE SEYMOUR)]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can build me up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can tear me down (Can't break me, can't break me)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can try but I'm unbreakable (Stone)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can do your best</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I'll stand the test (Can't break me, can't break me)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll find that I'm unshakeable (Stone)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The fire's burnt</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The wind has blown (Can't break me)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The water's dried</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JANE SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll still find stone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My heart of stone</b>
</p><p>Everyone in the room sat, stunned by just how good musicals had gotten. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I finished the dialogue in between as well, should I post it already? it's really short</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Dialogue In Between</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch the onscreen queens prepare for Haus of Holbein.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is short so I posted two chapters in the same day</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The queens all cast sad eyes towards Seymour, both onscreen and offscreen. </p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Because what hurts more than a broken heart?</b>
</p><p>They watch as the onscreen green queen walks up to Seymour. Could Boleyn have a fully developed conscience? </p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A severed head.</b>
</p><p>Nope! To be fair, though, a broken heart can heal. A severed head can't. </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Now, seeing as Henry was running out of women to marry in England, </b>
</p><p>Everyone snickered.</p><p>
  <b>He had to look a little further afield. He had to adjust his location settings, </b>
</p><p>...what?</p><p>
  <b>If you will. To find his next queen, we're heading to Germany. </b>
</p><p>Cleves straightened, excited. </p><p>
  <b>Where he enlisted the help of the legendary painter, Hans Holbein. </b>
</p><p>Onscreen Cleves whispered the last word, and the stage was bathed in darkness. Everyone watched as "Haus of Holbein" started.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Haus of Holbein</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queen watch the emotional whiplash song!!!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw caps</p><p>Y'ALL TY SO MUCH FOR OVER 100 KUDOS AND OVER 1000 HITS IK THIS IS LATE BUT TYYYY</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The onscreen queens put their backs to the audience, which confused the real-life queens. Aren't they not...supposed to do that?</p><p>
  <b>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Welcome to the house</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To the Haus of Holbein</b>
</p><p>The stage turned dark as the queen's costumes glowed. Everyone ooh-ed and ah-ed over the effects, which were unheard of during their time.  </p><p>
  <b>Ja, ooh ja, das ist gut</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh ja, ja</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Haus of Holbein</b>
</p><p>The real-life queens were stunned at how quickly the mood changed from Seymour's sad song to...this. It was jarring, but...good. Seymour smiled slightly. At least attention was being drawn away from her, and besides, this was funny.</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hans Holbein goes around the world</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Painting all of the beautiful girls</b>
</p><p>Cleves beamed, fluttering her eyelashes.</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From Spain</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JANE SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To France</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And Germany</b>
</p><p>Everyone looked at Cleves, knowing where this would go. On an unrelated note, the German accent was cracking everyone up!</p><p>
  <b>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The king chooses one</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But which one will it be?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON &amp; ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You bring the corsets</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JANE SEYMOUR &amp; ANNA OF CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We'll bring the cinches</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No one wants a waist over nine inches</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL EXCEPT KATHERINE HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So what, the makeup contains lead poison?</b>
</p><p>Everyone winced.</p><p>
  <b>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>At least your complexion will bring all the boys in</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ignore the fear and you'll be fine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We'll turn this vier into a nine</b>
</p><p>Anyone who understood German laughed.</p><p>
  <b>So just say 'ja' and don't say 'nein'</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause now you're in the house</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>In the Haus of Holbein!</b>
</p><p>Everyone laughed as the queens flailed around onstage in their glow-up get-up. This song was hilarious, and exactly what they needed. </p><p>
  <b>Ja, ooh ja, das ist gut</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh ja, ja</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Haus of Holbein</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ANNE BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We must make sure the princesses look great</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When their time comes for a Holbein portrait</b>
</p><p>Cleves framed her face. </p><p>
  <b>[ANNA OF CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We know what all the best inventions are</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To hold everything up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[KATHERINE HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ja, it's wunderbar</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE OF ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>For blonder hair, then you just add a magical ingredient</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JANE SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From your bladder</b>
</p><p>Everyone groaned, and they touched their hair with disgust.</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Try these heels, so high it's naughty</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But we cannot guarantee that you'll still walk at forty</b>
</p><p>Ok, so this was a little more gross than expected. Maybe if the queens just focused on the dancing instead of the words they would be able to enjoy it more. Besides, lyrics or not, this was amazing. The emotional whiplash alone gave their brains the happy chemical. </p><p>
  <b>Ignore the fear and you'll be fine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We'll turn this vier into a nine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So just say 'ja' and don't say 'nein'</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CATHERINE PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause now you're in the house</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>In the Haus of Holbein!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh ja, das ist gut</b>
</p><p>The airhorns took the queens by surprise, but they all laughed and watched the screen, their eyes bright and sparkling.</p><p>
  <b>Ooh ja, ja</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Haus of Holbein</b>
</p><p>Everyone applauded as the queens finished their song. Cleves leaned back as she waited for her solo. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Dialogue in Between</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Cleves make her introduction.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yeET I seriously cannot thinking that word</p><p>anyway Cleves is awesome</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The six queens grinned, their eyes sparkling. God, they loved this musical so much. </p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The time has come for you to select your bride, your highness! </b>
</p><p>Cleves smirked. </p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>May we present Christina of Denmark?</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Parr represented Christina, standing on the middle of three boxes.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Looking for mates, dates, and a British monarch whom to secure the line of succession, winky-face.</b>
</p><p>Winky-face...? Never mind. "Christina" slid over to the right box, red light shining over her. </p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Nein? Well, never mind, she already made a match with the Duke of Milan.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Okay, next!</b>
</p><p>Parr stepped down.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Your highness, may we present Amalia of Cleves?</b>
</p><p>This time, Howard stepped up to represent Amalia of Cleves. She too stood on the middle box. Cleves (Anne, not Amalia) grinned, remembering her sister fondly. </p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just a German girl trying to live the English dream. Hashtag no Catholics, hashtag big dowry.</b>
</p><p>Howard stepped over to the right box, where the box lit up red and a sound effect of a thumbs down was played again. Cleves wondered what would have happened if Henry chose her sister over her. </p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Nein?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Okay! Who's next?</b>
</p><p>Howard stepped down, and Cleves stepped up. Everyone turned to the real-life Cleves, who flashed a smile. </p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Anna! Fantastic! Wunderbar!<br/></b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Your highness, your highness, your highness! We are honoured to present to you Anna of Cleves!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The most beautiful woman in all of the Holy Roman Empire!</b>
</p><p>Cleves laughed at that. </p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And let me assure you, Herr Holbein has certainly done her justice.</b>
</p><p>Cleves snorted. So unladylike...who cares though?</p><p>This time, the box to the left of Anna lights up green and a thumbs up sound effect is played.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ah, sehr gut! And may I say you will definitely not be disappointed?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, no need to thank us, the pleasure has been ours—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>In the Haus of Holbein!</b>
</p><p>The girls, besides Anna of Cleves began to exit. Parr stayed behind after the music is finished to say a line. Everyone leaned forward. </p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Haus of Holbein.</b>
</p><p>They leaned back. Cleves stepped forward, a sad piano melody playing in the background. </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Well, I guess you already know what happened next. How I came to England, hopeful, summoned after the king saw my portrait. And how I, with my meager looks the way they are, didn't live up to his expectations. </b>
</p><p>Cleves stuck out her lips in a cartoonish frown, causing the other queens to laugh. </p><p>
  <b>I mean, It's the usual story, isn't it? The savvy educated young princess deemed repulsive by the wheezing, wrinkled, ulcer-riddled man twenty-four years her senior! </b>
</p><p>Now this was hilarious! The queens giggled and snorted as Cleves tore into Henry's looks as if it was paper. </p><p>
  <b>Rejection, rejection from a king! How can anyone overcome the fate as devastating than being forced to move into a resplendent palace in Richmond with more money that I could ever spend in a lifetime?! </b>
</p><p>That shut everyone up. They glanced at Cleves, leaning back, who wore a satisfied smirk. Lucky queen...</p><p>
  <b>And not a single man around to tell me what to do with it. I mean seriously, just... tragic.</b>
</p><p>Cleves leaned forward, ready to hear her solo. The queens knew she wouldn't win the contest, so this would be fun to watch. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>it totally isn't past midnight where I am-</p><p>also I told myself to put something in the end notes but I don't remember oops</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Get Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watches Cleves' song and are not very happy.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cleves glanced at the other queens, wondering how they would react to her song. From what she heard, they had some pretty sad lives. Compared to her...well, she just hoped they didn't get too mad. </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sittin' here all alone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>On a throne</b>
</p><p>
  <b>In a palace that I happen to own</b>
</p><p>The queens whipped their heads towards real-life Cleves, who grinned sheepishly. </p><p>
  <b>Bring me some pheasant</b>
</p><p>"Pheasant?" Melinda mouthed, confused. The olden days were <em>weird</em>. </p><p>
  <b>Keep it on the bone<br/></b>
  <br/>
  <b>Fill my goblet up to the brim</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sippin' on mead and I spill it on my dress</b>
</p><p>
  <b>With the gold lace trim</b>
</p><p>Jane "mom friend" Seymour clucked her tongue, disappointed. </p><p>
  <b>Not very prim and proper</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Can't make me stop<br/></b>
  <br/>
  <b>I wanna go hunting, </b>
</p><p>The queens looked at Cleves in surprise. So this queen had a castle, she hunted, AND there was no mention of Henry so far? This has to be fake. </p><p>
  <b>Any takers?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm not fake 'cause I've got acres and acres</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Paid for with my own riches</b>
</p><p>Melinda snapped a picture of the queens' faces. </p><p>
  <b>Where my hounds at? Release the bitches</b>
</p><p>The queens gasped, scandalized. Some did it sarcastically. </p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Woof</b>
</p><p>Melinda snickered. Why she found that funny was beyond the queens. </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everyday</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Head back for a round of croquet, </b>
</p><p>"Just don't run into any homicidal slushie-addicted teenagers," Melinda muttered. </p><p>
  <b>Yeah</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I'm a playa</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And tomorrow, I'll hit replay<br/></b>
  <br/>
  <b>You, you said that I tricked ya</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture</b>
</p><p>Profile picture . . . ? The queens were NOT ready for 2020. </p><p>
  <b>Too, too bad I don't agree</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And you can't stop me 'cause<br/></b>
  <br/>
  <b>I'm the queen of the castle</b>
</p><p>Everyone looked enviously at Cleves, who was bopping to the song and ignoring the others. </p><p>
  <b>Get down, you dirty rascal</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down you dirty rascal</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down<br/></b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I'm the queen of the castle</b>
</p><p>Cleves grinned. </p><p>
  <b>When I get bored</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I go to court</b>
</p><p>Wow, a castle, riches, education, and still no mention of Henry? This was her LIFE?</p><p>
  <b>Pull up outside in my carriage</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't got no marriage</b>
</p><p>Everyone groaned in frustration and jealousy. </p><p>
  <b>So I have a little flirt with the footman</b>
</p><p>
  <b>As he takes my fur</b>
</p><p>Melinda knew to cover her eyes, but the queens didn't. Commence the gay (bi?) panic. </p><p>
  <b>As you were</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Making my way to the dance floor</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Some boys making advance<br/></b>
</p><p>
  <b>I ignore them</b>
</p><p>Melinda nodded in approval.</p><p>
  <b>'Cause my jam comes on the lute</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Looking cute</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Das ist gut<br/></b>
  <br/>
  <b>All eyes on me</b>
</p><p>Someone choked, Melinda could sense it. She scanned the room for the perpetrator. Maybe it was Parr?</p><p>
  <b>No criticism</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I look more rad than Lutheranism</b>
</p><p>What was Lutheranism . . . ?</p><p>
  <b>Dance so hard that I'm causin' a sensation</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Okay ladies, let's get in reformation<br/></b>
  <br/>
  <b>You, you said that I tricked ya</b>
</p><p>Ooh, back to the chorus. The queens wouldn't have to hear more of Cleves' fabulous life for a few minutes. </p><p>
  <b>'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too, too bad I don't agree</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see</b>
</p><p>Melinda whipped out her phone to look up Cleves' portrait. </p><p>
  <b>And you can't stop me 'cause<br/></b>
  <br/>
  <b>I'm the queen of the castle</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down, you dirty rascal</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down<br/></b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down (you dirty rascal)</b>
</p><p>That was another interesting special effect, the queens noticed. People could slow down their speech, but how did they do it?</p><p>
  <b>Get down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down<br/></b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I'm the queen of the castle</b>
</p><p>Cleves grinned again.</p><p>
  <b>Now I ain't sayin' I'm a gold digger</b>
</p><p>Cleves snorted. </p><p>
  <b>But check my prenup, </b>
</p><p>The other queens could not check her prenup, and thus were forced to wait till the end of the musical to ask Cleves about her prenup.</p><p>
  <b>And go figure</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Got gold chains</b>
</p><p>GOLD CHAINS? The queens went green with envy. </p><p>
  <b>Symbolic of my faith to the higher power</b>
</p><p>
  <b>In the fast lane</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour</b>
</p><p>Wooooow. </p><p>
  <b>Let me explain</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm a wiener schnitzel, not an English flower<br/></b>
</p><p>The "English flowers" glared, offended. </p><p>
  <b>No one tells me I need a rich man</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Doin' my thing in my palace in Richmond</b>
</p><p>Cleves beamed, reminiscing her days with all of her riches. The other queens huffed. </p><p>
  <b>You, you said that I tricked ya (tricked ya)</b>
</p><p>Oh great, another chorus. Hopefully this would be the last one. </p><p>
  <b>'Cause I (I), I didn't look like my profile picture (no no)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too, too bad I don't agree (too bad I don't agree)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So I'm gonna hang it up (hang it up, hang it up) for everyone to see</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And you can't stop, you can't stop me 'cause</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm the queen of the castle</b>
</p><p>Cleves loved how aggressive onscreen her sounded. </p><p>
  <b>Get down, you dirty rascal</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down (yeah, c'mon, ha!)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down (get down with me)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down you dirty rascal</b>
</p><p>Both Melinda and Cleves smirked at how onscreen Cleves sounded like she was both disgusted and impressed by the "dirty rascal." </p><p>
  <b>Get down (it's Anna of Cleves)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(Aha-ha-ha, get)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down (ow!)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I'm the queen of the castle</b>
</p><p>The red queen said the last line with a whisper, sending chills down the spines of the real queens. Howard snapped everyone out of it when she clapped her hands, both applauding her friend and getting ready for her song. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Dialogue in Between/Katherine's Roast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Katherine Howard obliterate the other queens onstage</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my childdddd</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Melinda grinned at the youngest queen, but her smile fell as she remembered how sad her life was. And how sad it was that TikTok users used her song to show off their boyfriends without knowing the context of the song, which was truly heartbreaking. </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So yeah, it was really heartbreaking.</b>
</p><p>Howard and Cleves snorted. The other queens simply crossed their arms.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That doesn't sound difficult at all.</b>
</p><p>Aragon nodded. </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh yeah... I guess you're right. I probably won't win then. Oh well, back to the palace!</b>
</p><p>Cleves snickered. She knew all along she wouldn't win, but it wasn't until now that her "fear" was confirmed. </p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Well, there's one horse out of the race.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Rude.</b>
</p><p>Melinda immediately jumped into her own rendition of Ex-Wives, complete with voice cracks and cut-too-short notes. The other queens winced. </p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Let's just take a moment to commemorate Anna on the loss of the competition. And speaking of losses, also, take a moment to commemorate my son on the loss of his mother.</b>
</p><p>The "Heart of Stone" melody started playing in the background. The queens looked at Seymour strangely. Seymour herself had retreated back into her sad self. </p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If that doesn't capture the audience's hearts, then I don't know what will.</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Aragon snapped her fingers and the melody changed to "No Way." The strange looks shifted to the real-life Aragon, who was surprised but pleased by the turn of events. </p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p><b>Uh, how about the loss of the sacred bond given to you by God, </b> <b>the compromise—</b></p><p>Melinda stuck her tongue out. Aragon glared at her. </p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>How about the loss of my head?!</b>
</p><p>The music stopped and Boleyn and Howard laughed. </p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Okay, okay, you know what? I think it's time for the next queen, Kate Howard.</b>
</p><p>Howard smiled. </p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sorry, who?</b>
</p><p>Howard gasped, offended. She placed her hand over her heart and her other hand over her head and pretended to faint, sinking fully into the couch.  </p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh yeah, you remember, the least relevant Catherine. </b>
</p><p>The "fainted" Howard made another offended noise. </p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh yeah, haha, I still don't care.</b>
</p><p>"Hmph."</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, ha ha, funny.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, speaking of funny, good luck trying to compete with us, honey.</b>
</p><p>Melinda raised her eyebrows. They would be surprised . . .</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah... yeah, you're right. I'm gonna need all the luck I can get, your lives sounded terrible and your songs... really helped to convey that. </b>
</p><p>Howard jerked up with a laugh. </p><p>
  <b>I mean, Catherine, almost moving into a nunnery and then not? It almost could've been really hard for you. </b>
</p><p>Real-life Aragon pursed her lips while onscreen Howard condescendingly stroked the yellow queen's face. Real-life Howard grinned. </p><p>
  <b>And Anne! Anne, getting your head chopped off? Surely, that means you'll win the competition— oh, wait, wait, hang on a sec. Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded... oh, wait, nevermind. </b>
</p><p>Howard stifled her laugh. </p><p>
  <b>And Jane, dying of natural causes? When will justice be served?! </b>
</p><p>The pink queen's body started shaking, threatening to fall off the couch. </p><p>
  <b>And surviving... </b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Parr waited for Howard to finish her sentence, but she just moved on. In real life, Howard couldn't control herself and finally burst out into hearty laughs. Her giddiness was contagious, and the other queens smiled slightly. They couldn't help but notice how . . . young Howard seemed. It struck them that they didn't actually know her age.  </p><p>
  <b>Seriously, seriously, Anna, all jokes aside, being rejected for your looks legit sounds really rough. </b>
</p><p>Cleves pouted. </p><p>
  <b>I wouldn't know anything about that. I mean look at me, I'm really fit. </b>
</p><p>Howard smirked. </p><p>
  <b>So yeah. I can't even begin to think of how I'm going to compete with you all. Oh wait, like this...</b>
</p><p>And so "All You Wanna Do" started. Melinda hoped the queens were ready. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. All You Wanna Do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch this heart-wrenching song.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*cri* tw for implied/referenced sexual abuse</p><p>also sorry this is so late!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The other queens crossed their arms, playfully annoyed by Howard's roast. Howard herself was so ready to hear her solo. Melinda simply smiled ruefully. </p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I think we can all agree I'm a ten amongst these threes</b>
</p><p>Howard giggled as the other queens grinned at her happiness. </p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE, sung]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>Ooh, ok. Repetition, this is probably the song's name. </p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And ever since I was a child, I'd make the boys go wild</b>
</p><p>Wait. </p><p>Child?</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE, sung]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Take my first music teacher, Henry Mannox</b>
</p><p>Howard sent the screen a puzzled look. Why would they mention Mannox if this was about her life with Henry?</p><p>
  <b>I was young it's true </b>
</p><p>Oh, God. Please let the queens have misheard that. Please let someone tell them that the pink queen wasn't as young as she looked. </p><p>
  <b>But even then I knew</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The only thing you wanna to do is...mwah</b>
</p><p>Howard beamed. </p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Broad, dark, sexy Mannox</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Taught me all about dynamics</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He was 23</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I was 13 going on 30</b>
</p><p><em>Oh</em>.</p><p>The other queens turned to Howard, sending the oblivious queen worried looks. </p><p>
  <b>We'd spend hours strumming the lute</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Striking the chords and blowing the flute</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He plucked my strings all the way to G</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Went from major to minor, C to D</b>
</p><p>Oh, god. The poor girl . . .</p><p>
  <b>Tell me what you need</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What you want, you don't need to plead</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I feel the chemistry</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Like I get you and you get me</b>
</p><p>Melinda remembered how shocked she had felt when she first heard this song. It was then and there that she decided to adopt the queen, history be dammed. </p><p>
  <b>And maybe this is it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He just cares so much, it feels legit</b>
</p><p>Howard pursed her lips when she remembered her and Mannox's relationship. Out of the four in her lives, that was ranked in the bottom half.</p><p>
  <b>We have a connection</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I think this guy is different</b>
</p><p>The other queens were absolutely <em>horrified</em> at the treatment of Howard. </p><p>
  <b>'Cause all you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is touch me, love me, can't get enough, see</b>
</p><p>
  <em>The childish language . . . </em>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me</b>
</p><p>The queens didn't know what "birds and the bees" meant, but they could tell it was supposed to display how young Howard was. Howard herself was bopping her head along, not finding anything wrong with the lyrics. There wasn't anything that <em>big</em> so far, right? </p><p>
  <b>Run your fingers through my hair</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tell me, I'm the fairest of the fair</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Playtime's over</b>
</p><p>Oh, dear.</p><p>
  <b>The only thing you wanna do is...mwah</b>
</p><p>Howard made the kissy sound at the same time as her onscreen counterpart. The other queens stayed in their shocked silence.</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So after him, there was another guy, Francis. </b>
</p><p>Howard's eyes widened at the mention of Francis Dereham. She remembered him well, the assistant to her step-grandmother. She ALSO remembered how Henry had him executed. </p><p>
  <b>And at the time, I was living at my step-grandma's house; he was working for her. Working so so hard. So he asked me to be his little piece of ass...istant.</b>
</p><p>Howard snickered. The other queens simply watched. </p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Serious, stern and slow</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Gets what he wants, and he won't take no</b>
</p><p>Boleyn could feel tears start to bubble up.</p><p>
  <b>Passion in all that he touches</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The sexy secretary to the Dowager Duchess</b>
</p><p>Seymour let out a strangled cry.</p><p>
  <b>Helped him in his office, had a duty to fulfil</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He even let me use his favourite quill</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Spilled ink all over the parchment, my wrist was so tired</b>
</p><p>Howard started to snicker at how the lyrics depicted her and Francis' relationship, then stopped when she noticed how quiet the other queens were. She furrowed her eyebrows at them.</p><p>
  <b>Still I came back the next day as he required</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You say I'm what you need</b>
</p><p>The change in lyrics did not go unnoticed. Howard stared at the other queens, trying to understand why they looked so . . . sad?</p><p>
  <b>All you want, you don't need to plead</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I feel the chemistry</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Like I get you and you get me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I know this is it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He just cares so much, this one's legit</b>
</p><p>Howard snorted, and Boleyn burst into tears.</p><p>
  <b>We have a real connection</b>
</p><p>Howard crawled over to where the green queen was, rubbing her back and whispering comforting words, asking her what was wrong. Boleyn shook her head, grabbing Howard and pulling her into a hug. The pink queen froze, then hugged back. The other queens crowded around them, and they joined into a group hug. </p><p>
  <b>I'm sure this time is different</b>
</p><p>The group cried together while onscreen the queens were threateningly touching Howard. Melinda winced.</p><p>
  <b>'Cause all you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is touch me, love me, can't get enough see</b>
</p><p>The group hug became tighter.</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me</b>
</p><p>Parr sniffled.</p><p>
  <b>You can't wait a second more to get</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My corset on the floor</b>
</p><p>Howard tensed, realizing that maybe . . . that wasn't something every teenager experienced.</p><p>
  <b>Playtime's over</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The only thing you wanna do is...mwah</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So yeah, that didn't work out. </b>
</p><p>Howard giggled wetly.</p><p>
  <b>Turns out, some guys just wanna employ girls into their private chambers. Different time back then. </b>
</p><p>The queens knew sarcasm when they heard it. <em>Oh, dear . . . </em></p><p>
  <b>So I decided to have a break from boys, just focus on my career and my dad got me this amazing workplace in court, and you'll never guess who I met!</b>
</p><p>Howard sniffled, knowing that this would be where she met Henry. </p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tall, large, Henry the Eighth</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Supreme head of the Church of England</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Globally revered</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard</b>
</p><p>Howard giggled again.</p><p>
  <b>Made me a lady in waiting</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hurled me and my family up in the world</b>
</p><p>Howard felt tears prick the corners of her eyes when she thought about her family.</p><p>
  <b>Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That without me, he doesn't know what he'd do</b>
</p><p>The six queens glared at the screen.</p><p>
  <b>You say I'm what you need</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you want, we both agree</b>
</p><p>
  <b>This is the place for me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm finally where I'm meant to be</b>
</p><p>Howard's glare turned intense, remembering when Henry started making his advances.</p><p>
  <b>Then he starts saying all this stuff</b>
</p><p>The queens watched as Howard pulled away from the aggressive touches.</p><p>
  <b>He cares so much, he calls me love</b>
</p><p>The queens all shuddered.</p><p>
  <b>He says we have this connection</b>
</p><p>Now there were three queens who placed their hands upon the young queen. Everyone shuddered. </p><p>
  <b>I guess it's not so different</b>
</p><p>Dark lyrics aside, this actress had some great vocals.</p><p>
  <b>'Cause all you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is touch me, love me, can't get enough, see</b>
</p><p>Howard closed her eyes, focusing on the fact that she would hear about Thomas soon. She didn't realize that maybe that relationship wasn't the healthiest either. Melinda pulled out her phone and looked up ways to schedule therapy sessions.</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is seize me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's no time for when or how 'cause you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just got </b>
</p><p>Howard smiled when she noticed onscreen Howard using little quotation marks during the "just got" part.</p><p>
  <b>To have me now</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Playtime's over</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The only thing you wanna do is...mwah</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So we got married</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Woo</b>
</p><p>The queens chuckled at how unenthusiastic Howard sounded.</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>With Henry, it isn't easy</b>
</p><p>
  <b>His temper's short, and his mates are sleazy</b>
</p><p>The queens all made noises of agreement.</p><p>
  <b>Except for this one courtier</b>
</p><p>Howard's head jerked up, and she stared at the screen, a smile unfurling. Now they would finally talk about Thomas.</p><p>
  <b>He's a really nice guy, just so sincere</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The royal life isn't what I planned</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand</b>
</p><p>Howard's smile grew wider, while Boleyn and Seymour frowned. She wasn't talking about . . . Thomas Culpeper, was she?</p><p>
  <b>So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And we hang out loads when the King's away</b>
</p><p>
  <b>This guy finally</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is what I want, the friend I need</b>
</p><p>Howard's smile turned into a frown. <em>That wasn't how the story goes.</em></p><p>
  <b>Just mates, no chemistry</b>
</p><p>Howard made a confused noise. </p><p>
  <b>I get him and he gets me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And there's nothing more to it</b>
</p><p>The queens watched silently as the onscreen pink queen shrugged off the unwanted touches once more.</p><p>
  <b>He just cares so much, he's devoted</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He says we have a connection</b>
</p><p>The music paused as Howard looked down and noticed all of the hands on her body. Real-life Howard was very confused. Real-life Boleyn and Seymour (and all of the other queens) were very, very mad.</p><p>
  <b>I thought this time was different</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Why did I think he'd be different?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But it's never, ever different</b>
</p><p>That hit hard for Howard. She remembered that Thomas was a relative. She remembered that he knew her step-grandmother, and probably knew about the abuse she suffered at the hands of Fra-Dereham. She remembered how when they first met, all Howard wanted was a friend. She remembered, and remembered, and remembered, until it all came crashing down and suddenly? It was too much.</p><p>She broke down, sobbing and pulling her hair out and she couldn't stop, and the queens crawled over and hugged her and whispered comforting words, and Melinda conjured up water and tissues to help. The seven stayed like that while the screen kept playing.</p><p>
  <b>'Cause all you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is touch me, when will enough b</b>
  <b>e enoughsie</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Squeeze me, don't care if you don't please me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Bite my lip and pull my hair</b>
</p><p>
  <b>As you tell me, I'm the fairest of the fair</b>
</p><p>This actress had some <em>amazing</em> vocals. </p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Playtime's over</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Playtime's over</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD &amp; ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Playtime's over</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The only thing<br/>
</b>
</p><p>They watched as Howard shoved away the hands.</p><p>
  <b>The only thing<br/>
</b>
</p><p>They could hear the tears, the rage in Howard's voice.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The only thing you wanna do is...mwah</b>
</p><p>The lights dimmed as onscreen Howard delivered one last heartbreaking kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you guys so much for all the support!!!</p><p>I watched the first episode of SPN and learned that it's super scary but less scary when it's muted</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Dialogue in Between</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch the onscreen queens fight.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>we're nearing the end! thank you guys so much for reading and commenting and all-around supporting this book &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The six queens stayed in their group hug, watching as a fight brewed between the onscreen queens. </p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And then I was beheaded!</b>
</p><p>That took the queens by surprise, how easily Howard was able to go from wailing her brain out to cheerful enough to joke about her own death. It was jarring.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wow, that got pretty real just then.</b>
</p><p>Real-life Parr snorted, then hoped that Howard wouldn't get offended.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, I guess it did. So seeing as I had the worst time, and you know by the rules of the competition, I am now the leading lady of the girl group!</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the queens started arguing. In real life, the queens looked at each other awkwardly. Melinda crunched her popcorn.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, you had it bad, but that was not the most heart wrenching song we've heard this evening.</b>
</p><p>Seymour winced, wanting to sink into a hole in the floor and disappear forever.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Um, excuse me, were you not listening to my song? There were four choruses, that's how much sh... I had to deal with.</b>
</p><p>The group hug got tighter.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wow, yeah, being manipulated by men and paying the price, none of us could possibly imagine what that— oh wait, yeah, I did experience that.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn wrinkled her nose.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, for like that last five minutes of your marriage, Anne! Men had manipulated me from day one. I was literally shipped over from a foreign country, not knowing a single word of English, to marry some random dude.</b>
</p><p>Aragon and Cleves glanced at each other. At least now they knew they had <em>that</em> in common.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh my God, same!</b>
</p><p>The two queens snickered.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, okay. Fine, fine. But then, when Henry decided he had had enough of me, he didn't even have the decency to say goodbye!</b>
</p><p>Melinda gasped, clutching her chest. The queens rolled their eyes at her antics.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Same!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh yeah, same! Nice neck, by the way.</b>
</p><p>Parr spoke up. "So basically, we've all had horrible lives, but we shouldn't put down others because of it." </p><p>The rest of the queens muttered their agreement, eyes glued to the screen.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ok, alright. Well now live up to this, when my one and only child had a raging fever, Henry didn't even let me—her mother!—see her. </b>
</p><p>Everyone sighed at the mention of Henry.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, boo-hoo! </b>
</p><p>Seymour rubbed her temples, temporarily extricating her arms from the group hug. She <em>really</em> didn't want to see her onscreen counterpart blow up.</p><p>
  <b>Baby Mary had the chickenpox and you weren't there to hold her hand! You know, it's funny because when I wanted to hold my newborn son, I died! </b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Seymour stormed up to Aragon, shouting in her face. She then smiled at the audience, another quick acting moment (well, technically all of . . . that was an acting moment, but you know what I mean). </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Guys, I have the plague!</b>
</p><p>Everyone looked at Cleves, both onscreen and off. Melinda cringed.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Lol, just kidding, my life's amazing. </b>
</p><p>Cleves covered her mouth, stifling the snorts slipping out. The other queens rolled their eyes, yet the corners of some of their mouths quirked up.</p><p>
  <b>But in defence of me, I was humiliated on an international scale.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn raised her eyebrows, opening her mouth.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh yeah, I can't imagine what that must have felt like! Who else could possibly relate?!</b>
</p><p>Boleyn closed her mouth.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh pipe down, Anne! </b>
</p><p>Aragon and Boleyn looked at each other, then turned away, blushing. Melinda snapped a pic.</p><p>
  <b>You wanna talk about humiliation? Well when I was queen, Henry had not one, not two, but three historically confirmed mistresses.</b>
</p><p>Aragon scoffed.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh yeah, well I had not one, not two, but three miscarriages!</b>
</p><p>Everyone froze. Now that was too far.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, well you know what, Anne Bo-loser? I had five miscarriages!</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the queens argued. Cleves got in the middle of Boleyn's and Aragon's conflict while Seymour pulled Howard's hair. Parr then stepped up on the stage with the band members and cut the electricity cables to get the women's attention.</p><p>Meanwhile, the group hug shifted a little. </p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Stop! </b>
</p><p>"Being glued to your phone, counting followers and likes and ignoring your friends," Melinda whisper-sang.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Stop.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That's enough!</b>
</p><p>The real-life queens nodded enthusiastically. It was so embarrassing to watch their onscreen counterparts squabble like children.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wait, what do you mean?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I mean, I think we've had enough of this competition.</b>
</p><p>Parr grinned, proud of her onscreen self.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah. You know what, queens? She's absolutely right. </b>
</p><p>Aragon grinned as well.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah.</b>
</p><p>It was Cleves' turn to grin.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah yeah yeah... It's time to decide who won!</b>
</p><p>Howard pouted, wanting to have grinned as well.</p><p>Onscreen, the other queens tried to go back to arguing. Catherine Parr ran back down the steps of the stage, trying to talk again.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, no, no, stop, stop! I really don't think it's a good idea. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Literally, what are you on about, mate?</b>
</p><p>Melinda giggled. She wished she had a British accent.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Like... "Let's see what has the biggest cheer, being murdered by your husband or experiencing the trauma of losing a baby." Are we really gonna do this?</b>
</p><p>The queens didn't shout their approval at the screen, but they sure wanted to.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Um, I'm pretty sure we've been doing that for the last hour, so.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But... miscarriages. Come on, surely, that's one step too far.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn and Aragon shot meaningful looks at each other.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh, someone has a conscience all of a sudden.</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the women, besides Parr, laughed. Offscreen, the women, including Parr, burned with humiliation.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ooh, "I'm Catherine Parr, I draw lines in arbitrary places." Blah-blah!</b>
</p><p>What . . . does that mean?</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She just knows she's not gonna win.</b>
</p><p>Everyone looked at Parr. It was true she was the one to survive, and had only been married to Henry for two years, but this contest was stupid anyway.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm sure she doesn't even have a story to tell.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah... you know what? I will tell you a story. </b>
</p><p>"Listen up, lemme tell you a story," Melinda whisper-sang again.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>At his will be good.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Go on then, queens, take a seat. Cheers, Joan.</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the other queens took a seat and Joan played the melody of "I Don't Need Your Love."</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So, Henry and I actually have something in common. </b>
</p><p>Parr grimaced.</p><p>
  <b>I've also had my fair share of marriages. Though, unlike Henry, I managed to get through three without decapitating anyone. I know, gold star for Cathy Parr. But they had this really annoying habit of passing away and so I was dealing with, you know, incapacitating grief. </b>
</p><p>Everyone looked at Parr, who sighed in reply.</p><p>
  <b>I also had to keep finding new husbands to avoid being ostracised. Tudor womanhood, all I've ever known. </b>
</p><p>The queens looked to Melinda, the question in their eyes. She shrugged, and the queens drooped.</p><p>
  <b>And then one day, I finally meet this guy, Thomas. </b>
</p><p>Howard shuddered.</p><p>
  <b>He seemed like he might stick around for a while. And you guessed it, he turned out to be the love of my life. We had this plan to get married, actually. But that's when Henry turned up, single and ready to make an unsuspecting woman his wife. </b>
</p><p>The queens tittered, like the old people they were (excluding Howard).</p><p>
  <b>Just my luck. So that was that. I had to write a letter to Thomas, ending things. Dear Tom...</b>
</p><p>And so "I Don't Need Your Love" began.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. I Don't Need Your Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Parr's song.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Y'ALL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT FOR THIS FIC</p><p>also I must admit I was kinda stuck on this song</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Parr blanched at the thought of Thomas, her husband. He turned out to be a real creep . . .</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You know I love you, boy</b>
</p><p>
  <b>In every single way</b>
</p><p>Everyone looked to Parr. </p><p>
  <b>Though I love you, boy</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll miss you every day</b>
</p><p>A ghost of a smile touched Parr's lips. Those were the good days, when she was still so, so in love.</p><p>
  <b>Oh I love you, boy</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I wish that I could stay with you</b>
</p><p>Wait. How did Jane forget that Thomas Seymour was her <em>brother</em>? She glanced at Parr, wondering if she knew. <em>Of course she did, she wanted to marry him!</em></p><p>(Meanwhile, the fact that Parr had married one of the queens' brother was definitely not what she was focusing on.)</p><p>
  <b>And keep the life I made with you</b>
</p><p>Ah, love. If only Thomas hadn't messed it up by harassing Elizabeth. Boo him.</p><p>
  <b>And even though this feels so right</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm holding back the tears tonight</b>
</p><p>Lily smiled. Maybe it was inappropriate, but she just remembered her staticquake edit with this quote.</p><p>
  <b>It's true, I'll never be over you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And now the hope is gone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's nothing left for me to do</b>
</p><p>Parr sighed; she knew this was her solo, but she would really appreciate if it wasn't about her love for her former lover who was, as she stated several times, a creep.</p><p>
  <b>You know it isn't true</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I must say to you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>Seymour frowned, wondering about Thomas' reaction to the letter. He must've been heartbroken . . .</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It'll never be better than it was, no, no</b>
</p><p>Parr stifled a snort. Everyone who was looking at her raised their eyebrows, confused.</p><p>
  <b>But I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I've got no choice</b>
</p><p>Parr stiffened. The tone of her counterpart had hardened, which would probably be a bad thing.</p><p>
  <b>With the king I stay alive</b>
</p><p>The queens nodded, remembering how they felt when Henry had proposed to them. They really couldn't refuse . . . </p><p>
  <b>Never had a choice</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Been a wife twice before, just to survive</b>
</p><p>Parr shuddered as she remembered Sir Edward Burgh and John Neville.</p><p>
  <b>I don't have a choice</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If Henry says, "It's you", then it's you</b>
</p><p>The queens muttered their agreement angrily. </p><p>
  <b>No matter how I feel</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's what I have to do</b>
</p><p>Ooh, sad story aside, this actress was good. They shouldn't be surprised, to be honest.</p><p>
  <b>But if, somehow, I had that choice</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No holding back, I'd raise my voice</b>
</p><p>Parr grinned. <em>Yes</em>, this is what she wanted to hear.</p><p>
  <b>I'd say "Henry, yeah, it's true</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll never belong to you</b>
</p><p>The other queens were pleasantly taken by surprise about the turn in the song. </p><p>
  <b>'Cause I am not your toy to enjoy 'til there's something new</b>
</p><p>
  <b>As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To care for you</b>
</p><p>Parr cheered, startling the queens who were still in the group hug. </p><p>
  <b>Ha, darling, get a clue</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's nothing you can do</b>
</p><p>Parr's eyes were bright, her grin blinding. It was astonishing how quickly her mood changed.</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>Parr's grin grew wider, if that was even possible.</p><p>
  <b>No, I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's nothing left to discuss, no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I can't say that</b>
</p><p>And just like that, Parr's grin disappeared. Melinda felt the urge to sing "Turn It Off," which wasn't appropriate in this situation in the slightest.</p><p>
  <b>Not to the king</b>
</p><p>The mood soured.</p><p>
  <b>So this is goodbye</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All my love</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Catherine</b>
</p><p>Parr let out a breath, thankful that at least the letter was over. Would her song be done then?</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So I sent that letter to my love</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Got married to the king</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Became the one who survived</b>
</p><p>Parr rubbed her temples.</p><p>
  <b>I've told you about my life</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The final wife</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But why should that story</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Be the one I have to sing about</b>
</p><p>Parr's hands fell to her lap. The song's tone was changing again; how long would her song go on?</p><p>
  <b>Just to win? I'm out</b>
</p><p>Parr's grin slowly returned.</p><p>
  <b>That's not my story</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's so much more</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Remember that I was a writer</b>
</p><p>Parr's smile came back full-force. </p><p>
  <b>I wrote books and psalms and meditations</b>
</p><p>THIS was what Parr wanted to be known for!</p><p>
  <b>Fought for female education</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So all my women could independently</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Study scripture</b>
</p><p>Parr bopped her head as the other queens looked at her with awe. They were originally jealous of her for surviving, but they didn't realize that there was so much that they didn't know about their fellow queens. </p><p>
  <b>I even got a woman to paint my picture</b>
</p><p>Parr squinted, trying to remember who painted her portrait. Was it . . . Susannah Hornebolt? Oh well, she's probably dead anyway.</p><p>
  <b>Why can't I tell that story?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause in history</b>
</p><p>Parr reallllly hoped they meant his-story.</p><p>
  <b>I'm fixed as one of six</b>
</p><p>The six queens all looked at each other, as they have been doing for the past hour.</p><p>
  <b>And without him</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I disappear</b>
</p><p>"No one deserves to disappear," Melinda whisper-sang. </p><p>
  <b>We all disappear</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wait, I don't get it.</b>
</p><p>Yet another change. Now they were talking during the song? Parr had asked this many times but how long would her song be?</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Okay, look. Why does anyone know who we are?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My sixth finger.</b>
</p><p>In real life, Boleyn grinned and held it up for all to see. The queens flinched away and Melinda ooh-ed</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Put it away, babe!</b>
</p><p>Both Aragon and Boleyn blushed fiercely.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No. Okay, let me put it in a different way. Who was Henry VII's wife?</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the queens looked around at each other for an answer. In real life . . . it was basically the same thing.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't know.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Anyone?</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the queens chattered amongst themselves, but no one knew the answer. In real life, the queens stayed mostly silent, but no one knew the answer.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And Henry VI's wife?</b>
</p><p>Once again, none of them knew the answer.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And Henry V's wife?</b>
</p><p>Howard raised her hand shyly.</p><p>
  <b>[QUEENS EXCLUDING HOWARD] </b>
</p><p>
  <b>We don't know.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Catherine de Valois— I mean, I don't know.</b>
</p><p>Howard smiled bashfully as everyone looked at her.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The point is, the only reason any of these people have come here tonight is because once upon a time—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The same guy fell in love with us.</b>
</p><p>The faces of six people fell. They didn't fall far, but they fell.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Right.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So we can sing our hearts out.</b>
</p><p>Seymour beamed at her optimism. Mom, indeed.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And get down like it's 1499.</b>
</p><p>The six snickered, then quieted down as they realized they would never be able to go back to the life they knew.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I mean if we hadn't married Henry VIII...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No one would want to hear our stories.</b>
</p><p>Wow, they were going to address the blatant sexism shown in history. Awesome!</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And so each of our solos end up as backing vocals on Henry's greatest hits.</b>
</p><p>The six frowned.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah... but isn't there a bigger problem here?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The dissolution of the monasteries?</b>
</p><p>"Yes!" Aragon exclaimed, drawing weird looks from the others. She withdrew into herself, folding her hands in her lap. "No?"</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>...Nope. I'm talking about us 'cause when we get together as a group it just—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everyone notices Jane can't dance!</b>
</p><p>Boleyn suddenly coughed and Seymour gasped and clutched her chest.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>This is what I'm talking about! We compare ourselves, and when we're the six wives of Henry VIII, we each become just that.</b>
</p><p>Howard's eyes widened, and the six queens mulled over that realization. That . . . was exactly what happened.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>One of his wives.</b>
</p><p>The six queens frowned again.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>One of...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[QUUENS]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Six.<br/></b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, I get it. Since the only thing we have in common is our husband, grouping us is an inherently comparative act and as such unnecessarily elevates a historical approach ingrained in patriarchal structures... Yeah... I read.</b>
</p><p>Everyone looked at Boleyn, who grinned back. Yeah, she <em>did</em> read.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So basically, we're stuck.</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the queens complained about it. In real life, the queens stayed silent, but they did want to complain.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If only there was some way we could remove his love from our stories.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah! Imagine if we had the freedom to say what we always wanted to say to him without him being there to answer back.</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the rest of the queens agreed. In real life, the queens started grinning, realizing where this would lead. </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If only there was some way that we could, like, all be together in the same place at the same time with, like, I don't know, four-hundred people to finally listen to us speak for ourselves or maybe even sing?</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the queens looked into the camera and smiled cheekily. In real life, the queens nodded, satisfied, and leaned forward.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>This is a—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[QUEENS]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Remix!<br/></b>
</p><p>The six queens cheered as the song turned back into singing, the onscreen queens not fighting anymore.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]<br/></b>
</p><p>
  <b>So we had no choice</b>
</p><p>Ooh, they were singing again.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But now it's us alone</b>
</p><p>Boleyn grinned.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So we've got no choice</b>
</p><p>Seymour smiled.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, we've got no choice</b>
</p><p>Cleves smirked.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're taking back the microphone</b>
</p><p>Howard beamed.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm gonna raise my voice</b>
</p><p>Parr held up her fist.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>They always said</b>
</p><p>
  <b>"We need your love"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But it's time for us to rise above</b>
</p><p>Whoa. These actresses were <em>so</em> good.</p><p>
  <b>It's not what went down in history</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But tonight I'm singing this for me</b>
</p><p>The six queens felt it would be rude and immature to whoop, but did so anyway.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL, <em>PARR</em>]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Henry, yeah, I'm through</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too many times it's been told</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I have had enough (<em>I've had enough</em>)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Love stories to get old</b>
</p><p>Melinda smiled softly at how happy the queens were now.</p><p>
  <b>And you might think it's tough</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I've got to let your love run cold</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're taking back control (<em>we're taking back control</em>)</b>
</p><p>Ooh, Parr was singing on her own apart from the group. That would be fun to analyze.</p><p>
  <b>You need to know</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love (<em>hey</em>), no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Can't let it get the better of us, no, no</b>
</p><p>The queens bopped along to the song, thoroughly enjoying it.</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love (<em>hey, I don't need your love</em>) no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, I don't need your love (<em>I don't need your love</em>)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love (<em>no, I don't need it</em>)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love, no-no-no-no-no (<em>no, I don't need it</em>)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love</b>
</p><p><em>Wow</em>. Just <em>wow</em>.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We don't need your love<br/></b>
</p><p>The queens hoped that this wouldn't be the last song.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Dialogue in Between</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens near the ending of the musical.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sksksks Y'ALL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OVER 200 KUDOS I'M SO GRATEFUL</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The queens were all absolutely glowing after the last song, and Melinda was happy for them, but her heart broke at the thought of telling them the musical would end soon.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And you know what? We might just be remembered for being married to the same man,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But why does anyone give a sh... who he is?</b>
</p><p>The queens cheered loudly, as if they were at a basketball game. If they knew about basketball, that is.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>His continental campaign?</b>
</p><p>Oh.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>His religious reforms?</b>
</p><p>Aragon opened her mouth, and so did her onscreen counterpart.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Well, actually—</b>
</p><p>"Well, actually-" both Aragons said at the same time.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's not the time, Catherine.</b>
</p><p>In real life, everyone just looked at Aragon, but she got the message.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Or could it be his extraordinary, strong...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Six wives!</b>
</p><p>The cheering resumed. </p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We thought so.</b>
</p><p>Huh, the audience of this boot- I mean, definitely not illegal recording of Six must have cheered as well. Not that the queens could hear it.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So, have you had a good time this evening?!</b>
</p><p>Howard grinned, and cheered louder.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We said, have you had a good time?!</b>
</p><p>Parr, who was cheering the loudest the whole time, got louder. Melinda winced and plugged her ears, although the other queens didn't seem to have much of a problem with it.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And, are you ready for a royal happily ever after? Well, we don't have one.</b>
</p><p>The cheering came to an abrupt stop. That was true, but . . . couldn't they do anything about it?</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We wish we could tell you that our lives had happy endings.</b>
</p><p>The six all exchanged looks. Died of cancer, beheaded, died of childbirth, died of age, beheaded, died of childbirth. Yeah, only Cleves had a happy ending. </p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But the fact is they didn't.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And there's nothing we can do to change that.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ever.</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the queens all drew a tear with their finger on their cheek. In real life, the queens let out a collective sigh, mildly disappointed.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But wait...</b>
</p><p>Oh, wait, never mind.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's five minutes left of the show...</b>
</p><p>WHAT? There's only five minutes left of the show? Aww . . .</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And seeing as it's our show...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We can have whatever ending we want.<br/></b>
</p><p>Oh, HECK yes! The queens shifted in their seats, getting more comfortable for the last song of the show.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Seeing as you have been such a great audience,</b>
</p><p>The queens grinned.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We've decided to give you our own—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Um, slightly edited version.</b>
</p><p>The queens snickered.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>—Of what actually went down all those years ago.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause after all...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're one of a kind,</b>
</p><p>Ooh, they're singing again. Would this be it then? Also, wouldn't Aragon usually be singing first?</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No category.</b>
</p><p>It's another reprise, then. If the show is ending on a reprise, then what was all that stuff about changing their ending?</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too many years</b>
</p><p>Ah, so they're going backwards.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Lost in history.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're free</b>
</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To take our crowning glory.</b>
</p><p>It's over soon.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>For five more minutes,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're six!</b>
</p><p>Frick, that didn't even feel like five minutes. Aww, now what?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>pls don't judge me for the ending if I hadn't listened to the soundtrack before watching a bootleg that would've been my reaction too</p><p>ALSO after the musical ends I'm going to have them react to more stuff and give them their vaccines and then release them into the world so comment below what you want them to react to (but I won't do stuff like doki doki bc I heard it was really bleeping scary or anime bc I don't know where to watch it that's a lie I just don't want to watch it byeeeeee</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch the last official song of the musical.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Y'ALL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE RECOMMENDATIONSSSSSS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The queens settled down, sad that the single greatest musical in their life had ended. Why then, did Melinda still look so happy?</p><p>The music started again, and the queens jolted up, surprised. Why was there music playing if the show was done?</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He got down on one knee, but I said, "No way."</b>
</p><p>A cheer slipped out of Aragon, and she slapped a hand to her mouth. </p><p>So. Turns out the show wasn't over. The queens couldn't <em>believe</em> that they thought it was.</p><p>
  <b>Packed my bags and moved into a n-n-nunnery.</b>
</p><p>Aragon grinned at how they referenced "No Way." Melinda laughed when she realized that this song was basically historical fanfiction.</p><p>
  <b>Joined the gospel choir,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Our riffs were on fire.</b>
</p><p>Wow, these actresses were <em>good</em>. On an unrelated note, Melinda should really learn all of this singer/actress lingo if she was ever going to make it to Broadway.</p><p>
  <b>At the top of the charts is where I'm gonna stay.</b>
</p><p>What does she mean by charts. . .?</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Henry sent me a poem about my green sleeves.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn pulled a face when she remembered that poem.</p><p>
  <b>I changed a couple words, put it on a sick beat.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The song blew their minds</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Next minute, I was signed</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And now I'm writing lyrics for Shakesy P.</b>
</p><p>Judging by the way Melinda's eyes brightened at "Shakesy P." (seriously, who's called that?), he must be some celebrity. Awesome! Boleyn's ending was her becoming famous!</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Since my first son, our family's grown</b>
</p><p>Seymour's eyes brightened, then dimmed slightly as she realized her ending was with Henry. Well, at least she had Edward. And then maybe . . . after a particularly trying day, she could slip something suspicious into Henry's tea and then-</p><p><em>Whoa</em>. That was . . . different. Let's not think about that for awhile and just focus on the musical, shall we? </p><p>
  <b>We made a band and got quite well known.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You could perhaps call us the Tudor von Trapps</b>
</p><p>Judging by the way Melinda was stifling her giggles, that was another reference.</p><p>
  <b>I'm just kidding, </b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're called the Royalling Stones.</b>
</p><p>Judging by onscreen Seymour's little laugh, that was a pun.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're one of a kind,</b>
</p><p>Ooh, they're repeating this part again. </p><p>
  <b>No category.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too many years lost in history.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're free to take our crowning glory</b>
</p><p>
  <b>For five more minutes,</b>
</p><p>Aww, the show was <em>actually</em> ending soon.</p><p>
  <b>We're six</b>
</p><p>The six queens cheered. They'd been doing it a lot more now.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What a shame, yeah, my face, </b>
</p><p>
  <b>It cost me the crown.</b>
</p><p>Cleves stuck her tongue out.</p><p>
  <b>So I moved to the</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Haus of Holbein</b>
</p><p>Cleves straightened, intrigued. She didn't expect <em>that</em> for her ending<em>. </em>Interesting<em>.</em></p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>In my hometown.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>His mates were super arty </b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I showed them how to party.</b>
</p><p>Cleves grinned.</p><p>
  <b>Now on my tour of Prussia,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everybody "Gets Down."</b>
</p><p>Cleves whooped. Now this was unexpected and amazing!</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Music man tried it on,</b>
</p><p>Howard shuddered, and the queens kept a close eye on the young queen.</p><p>
  <b>And I was like "bye."</b>
</p><p>Howard perked up. Hell yes, this was an ending she could get behind.</p><p>
  <b>So I thought, who needs him?</b>
</p><p>Howard beamed.</p><p>
  <b>I can give it a try.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I learned everything, now all I do is sing.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I'll do that until I die.</b>
</p><p>Howard clapped loudly, the other queens all smiling softly at her.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Heard all about these rocking chicks.</b>
</p><p>Parr didn't know what her ending would be; she had already survived, what else does she need?</p><p>
  <b>Loved every song and each remix.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So I went out and found them,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And we laid down an album.</b>
</p><p>Oh, so she joined the band with the other queens! Awesome!</p><p>
  <b>No, I don't need your love.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All I need is six.</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the queens all laughed together. It was refreshing, seeing the queens who were so recently fighting each other joke around as if nothing had happened.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're one of a kind,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No category.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too many years lost in history.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're free to take our crowning glory</b>
</p><p>
  <b>For four more minutes,</b>
</p><p>Aw, only four more minutes of the show!</p><p>
  <b>We're six.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Woah, woah, we're six.</b>
</p><p>The queens bopped along, their smiles tinged with sadness as the show began its end. </p><p>
  <b>Woah-oh-oh, we're six.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Woah, woah, for five more minutes.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's the end of the show of the historemix.</b>
</p><p>
  <em>They're repeating the first song!</em>
</p><p>
  <b>We switched up the flow and we changed the prefix.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everybody knows that we used to be six wives.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But we wanna say before we drop the curtain,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Nothing is for sure, nothing is for certain.</b>
</p><p>The queens beamed. Melinda took a pic.</p><p>
  <b>All that we know is that we used to be six wives.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But now </b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're one of a kind,</b>
</p><p>Melinda grinned, basking in the happiness of the queens.</p><p>
  <b>No category</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too many years lost in history</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're free to take our crowning glory</b>
</p><p>
  <b>For three more minutes</b>
</p><p><em>Frick</em>, only three more minutes.</p><p>
  <b>We're one of a kind,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No category.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too many years lost in history.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're free to take our crowning glory</b>
</p><p>
  <b>For two more minutes,</b>
</p><p>The queens slowly relaxed, their necks hurting from all of the movement.</p><p>
  <b>We're six.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Woah, woah, we're six.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Woah-oh-oh, we're six.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Woah, woah, for five, four, three, two, </b>
</p><p>
  <b>One more minute.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're six!</b>
</p><p>The queens cheered and applauded louder than they had ever before. Once they ran out of breath, they sagged, resigned to the fact that they had watched the musical, and now had nothing to do with their life. </p><p>God, at the beginning of this they were SO suspicious, but now? </p><p>They wished they could watch this over and over again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That concludes the official musical! Thank you so much for all the support! Next we move on to the queens reacting to stuff other than Six, even though the next chapter is them reacting to Megasix. Hope you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Megasix</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Megasix!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The last last song of the musical!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The queens all gave a collective sigh, shifting in their seats. They wondered what they were going to do now. Were they going to go back to being dead, or . . . what?</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Do you want one more song? </b>
</p><p>Melinda hid her snickers as the queens groaned. Not from disappointment, oh no, but from the fact that <em>the show kept making them believe it was done</em>! It was <em>infuriating</em>!</p><p>Oh, well. At least it wasn't done yet!</p><p>
  <b>Well then, stay on your feet, hit it Maria.</b>
</p><p>Aragon grinned at the memory of her friend.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Clap your hands!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get your phones out, you're gonna wanna film this!</b>
</p><p>Melinda held up her phone, watching as the queens turned to her and let out gasps of understanding.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But most importantly, get ready to dance!</b>
</p><p>The queens looked around, wondering if anyone was going to get up and dance. They decided . . . nah. Even though they no longer held their status as queen, they should still have some sense of decorum.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Make some noise for Maggie!</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Maggie did a solo. In real life, Boleyn smiled.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Big up to Bessie!</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Bessie did a solo. In real life, both Aragon and Cleves beamed.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And show some love for Joan!</b>
</p><p>. . . Onscreen, Joan did a solo. In real life, Seymour smiled ruefully.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And Señorita Maria!</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Maria did a solo. Aragon would've started smiling like some of the other queens if it weren't for the fact she was already grinning.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Are you ready? </b>
  <b>Here we go!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You must think that I'm crazy,</b>
</p><p>Aragon brightened, recognizing her solo. Melinda wished "No Way" wasn't underrated.</p><p>
  <b>You wanna replace me?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Baby, there's—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>N-n-n-n-n-no way!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If you thought you could leave me,</b>
</p><p>Ooh, now that's different.</p><p>
  <b>You must think I'm naive.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Please believe me, there's—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-not sorry!</b>
</p><p>. . .What?</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said</b>
</p><p>Oh, <em>wow</em>. So they're doing a medley of all of the songs? That's amazing!</p><p>
  <b>I'm just trying to have some fun</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>N-n-no way!</b>
</p><p>Aragon and Boleyn grinned at each other. The other queens looked at them strangely. How did they go from literally attacking each other to this? Melinda smirked and took a pic. </p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't worry, don't worry,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't lose your head!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I didn't mean to hurt anyone!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can-</b>
</p><p>Seymour perked up. It was her song now!</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>LOL!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Say "oh well!"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can try but I'm unbreakable</b>
</p><p>Melinda wondered if anyone had tried singing Megasix by themselves. It would be <em>so hard</em>. . .</p><p>She was gonna try it.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna—</b>
</p><p>Howard smiled, although her eyebrows furrowed. Shouldn't Cleves be next? Cleves herself turned her lips down in a pout.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Do your best.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I'll stand the test.</b>
</p><p>Seymour really hoped that she could listen to the musical again. Actually, all of the queens did.</p><p>
  <b>You'll find that I've-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Got a heart of—</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-one</b>
</p><p>The queens watched the screen, entranced. The actresses must be having the time of their <em>lives</em>.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All alone, on a throne</b>
</p><p>Cleves smirked, tossing some popcorn into her mouth.</p><p>
  <b>In a palace that I happen to own</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The only thing you wanna do-</b>
</p><p>Howard squealed, then clamped her mouth shut in embarrassment.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too bad I don't agree</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Cause I'm the queen of the castle</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get down, you dirty rasca-a-al</b>
</p><p>Yeah, the queens were definitely <em>not</em> straight.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is sing along to your favourite queen's song</b>
</p><p>Howard clapped, elated that her solo's chorus wouldn't be repeated.</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is love me, love me, la, la, la, la</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>La, la, la, la, love</b>
</p><p>Parr raised up her fist, beaming widely.</p><p>
  <b>No, no, I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's time to rise above</b>
</p><p>The lyric changes were so refreshing!</p><p>
  <b>Woah, woah</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We don't need your love</b>
</p><p>"Hell yeah!"</p><p>
  <b>'Cause we're so much more than—<br/></b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Divorced!</b>
</p><p>Aragon's grin grew wider. She had been grinning throughout the whole song, and her face was definitely going to hurt.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Beheaded!</b>
</p><p>Boleyn interlocked her fingers and placed her head on them like a mini table.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Died!</b>
</p><p>For once, Seymour wasn't too sad when she mentioned it. </p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Divorced!</b>
</p><p>Cleves framed her face.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Beheaded!</b>
</p><p>Howard whooped.</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Survived!</b>
</p><p>Parr thrust her fist higher.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're six!</b>
</p><p>The queens cheered and applauded and applauded and cheered. They were absolutely certain that this was the last song in the musical, and it filled them with a sort of bittersweet sadness. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have 14 more drafts for reacts, and the next one is The Wives of Henry VIII (Divorced, Beheaded and Died) from Horrible Histories!</p><p>after I finish this imma do a newsies react to newsies fic and here's the list of people I'm going to bring to the ~future~:<br/>Race<br/>Spot<br/>Specs<br/>Albert<br/>Romeo<br/>Elmer<br/>Jojo<br/>Davey<br/>Les<br/>Jack<br/>Katherine<br/>Crutchie</p><p>sorry if your fav character isn't here, there's just s o many newsies</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The Wives of Henry VIII (Divorced, Beheaded, and Died)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Henry sum up Six in a two minute song.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't own these lyrics, they belong to Horrible Histories.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The queens watched the screen hopefully, crossing their fingers for just one more song. Sadly, they didn't get it. Melinda stood up, and the queens jumped, forgetting the teen was there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” she said, prompting a few eyebrow raises. “Did you guys like it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room was filled with the sound of six queens gushing about Six: the Musical, and Melinda grinned at how much they loved it. She wondered if they would love the next videos as much. Probably not, to be honest. Nothing would ever trump a well-written portrayal of yourself in a musical.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really glad you liked it so much,” Melinda smiled, getting up on top of the table. She waved away the confused glances and continued, “Now that the musical is done, we’re going to watch some other videos. This next video is basically just Six condensed into a two minute song and sung by Henry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The queens groaned, which was to be expected, but Melinda still flicked her wrist at the TV and changed the video to “The Wives of Henry VIII (Divorced, Beheaded, and Died).” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enjoy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>[HENRY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Divorced, beheaded and died</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Divorced, beheaded, survived</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Henry pranced onto the screen, not unlike the beginning of “Ex-Wives.” Well, the prancing was different, but the “divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived” thing was practically the same. The queens, not knowing this was in 2009 and way before Six was created, wondered if this would really be the </span>
  <em>
    <span>exact</span>
  </em>
  <span> same thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm Henry VIII, I had six sorry wives</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Some might say I ruined their lives</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Some,’” everyone muttered at the exact same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>[Verse 1]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Catherine of Aragon was one</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Melinda began whispering an accelerated version of “No Way,” while Aragon simply sniffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>She failed to give me a son</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Aragon stiffened.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>I had to ask her for a divorce</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Had to,’” Aragon mocked.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>That broke her poor heart, of course</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Aragon faked swooning.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Young Anne Boleyn, she was two</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Young? Melinda whipped out her phone to research how old Boleyn was when she married Henry VIII. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh. She was 32. Is that young by their standards?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Had a daughter, the best she could do</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Boleyn scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>I said she flirted with some other man</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And off for the chop went dear Anne</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Boleyn tilted her head in confusion. Shouldn’t the executioner be holding a sword?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lovely Jane Seymour was three</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Seymour held her head up high. She could pretend she was dignified while internally she was screaming at Henry as if it would somehow make him drop dead.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>The love of a lifetime for me</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved,” Melinda whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>She gave me a son, little Prince Ed</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Frick. Seymour willed herself not to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Then poor old Jane, went and dropped dead</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Chorus]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Divorced, beheaded and died</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Ooh, it’s the chorus. There should only be one verse left, correct?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Divorced, beheaded, survived</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm Henry VIII, I had six sorry wives</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Some might say I ruined their lives</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Verse 2]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Anne of Cleves was four</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I fell for the portrait I saw</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Cleves pursed her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Then laid on her face and cried, "She's a horse!</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, that insult was new.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>I must have another divorce!"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Catherine Howard was five</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Howard crunched her popcorn.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>A child of nineteen, so alive</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She flirted with others, no way to behave</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Says the person who had dozens of mistresses,” Howard muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>The axe sent young Cath to her grave</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Catherine Parr she was last</b>
</p><p>
  <b>By then all my best days were past</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I lay on my deathbed aged just fifty-five</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Parr smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lucky Catherine the last stayed alive</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(I mean, how unfair!)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Chorus]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Divorced, beheaded and died</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh phew, hopefully it was almost over.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Divorced, beheaded, survived</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm Henry VIII, I had six sorry wives</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You could say I ruined their lives </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh thank gods it’s over. The queens looked to Melinda for confirmation, and she nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welp! Thank you for enduring that,” Melinda said, standing up again. "The next video you'll be watching is made by the same organization that made this, so that'll be fun!"</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next up will be "Horrible Histories - Terrible Tudors!"</p><p>also not relevant to the fic but I watched a spn out of context vid and literally wtf</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Terrible Tudors - Horrible Histories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens (and Melinda) learn about the Tudors</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>we'll definitely be seeing more dialogue from here on out!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This next video is called 'Terrible Tudors,' by Horrible Histories," Melinda announced. "It's the first time I'm watching this, too, so I don't know what's going to happen!"</p><p>"Um, one question," Howard spoke up, raising her hand. "Why are we doing this?" The teen was accompanied by a chorus of "yeah's" and "yes'." "We already finished Six."</p><p>Melinda raised her eyebrows, surprised that the queens spoke up about their questions. They must be feeling more comfortable around her. "Because. . .oh! Because you need to learn more about what happened after you died, and about modern stuff in general!"</p><p>"But. . .Why do we need to know all this if we're going to go back to being dead?"</p><p>Now Melinda really was surprised. "Why would you think you guys would go back to being dead?"</p><p>This time, Boleyn spoke up. "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but we're all dead queens from the 1500s, it's not like we can actually stay alive and live in. . .what year is it? 2021? Yeah." She gestured half-heartedly around at the other queens.</p><p>"Not with that attitude you can't!" Melinda grinned, clasping her hands together. The queens were. . .shocked, to say the least. They were actually going to live in the future? Melinda expected them to learn centuries of knowledge so they can adjust to the future? Melinda actually thought they were capable of doing that?!</p><p>The room burst into shouts as the queens explained how they were simply not capable of such a feat. Melinda waved her hands, trying to calm them down.</p><p>"Just. . .try? Please? For me?" Melinda's eyes widened, her best attempt at puppy-dog eyes. How could the queens say no to that face?</p><p>". . .Fine," the queens grumbled.</p><p>Melinda squealed. "Yay! Let's get this video started, shall we?"</p><p>
  <b>[Elizabeth I (Howe-Douglas)]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Anyone who's lived around</b>
</p><p>
  <b>These parts, or ever knew us</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is well aware that you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Should never mess with the Tudors</b>
</p><p>The Tudors? Those were the kings, weren't they? Did the queens really need to watch this if they needed to adjust to the future?</p><p>
  <b>My granddad, Henry Seventh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He beat King Richard</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That's him pictured</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Defeating the Tyke</b>
</p><p>Melinda's eyes lit up. Ooh, information. She needed this. Meanwhile, the queens were overdramatically zoning out. They already knew this, what's the point of hearing it again?</p><p>
  <b>He liked his name so much that</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To keep alive his memory</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He called his own son Henry</b>
</p><p>Someone snorted.</p><p>
  <b>What was he like</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everyone said Henry</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Eighth was a baddy</b>
</p><p>"You're telling us!"</p><p>
  <b>I have to agree</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Even though he was my daddy</b>
</p><p>Wait. What? The woman speaking was one of Henry's daughters? The queens looked around, wondering who in the group had birthed her. Then they realized it was futile because Henry had dozens of mistresses and it would be impossible to tell.</p><p>
  <b>[Henry VIII (Willbond)]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just popping out to chop some wives!</b>
</p><p>That wrangled a laugh out of the beheaded cousins.</p><p>
  <b>[Both]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Cos we're Tudors</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Britain's biggest feuders</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And just like barracudas</b>
</p><p>What were barracudas?</p><p>
  <b>We kill with methods foul</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tudors</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Each enemy a Judas</b>
</p><p>Ah, Bible references. Fun!</p><p>
  <b>At least we're not as rude as</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Simon Cowell</b>
</p><p>The queens all looked to Melinda, who pulled a face. Yeah, that was definitely helpful when they were trying to figure out who Simon Cowell was.</p><p>
  <b>[Henry VIII]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My reign was quite notorious</b>
</p><p>"Really? We never would've guessed."</p><p>
  <b>I liked to hunt and slaughter</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elizabeth I]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But then you had a daughter</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Mary was her name</b>
</p><p>Aragon grinned at the mention of Mary.</p><p>
  <b>[Henry VIII]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It was a son I wanted</b>
</p><p>Aragon's grin turned sour.</p><p>
  <b>So I divorced her mother</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elizabeth I]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Then wife two had another</b>
</p><p>Boleyn fluttered her eyelashes.</p><p>
  <b>[Henry VIII]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A girl? Not again!</b>
</p><p>Boleyn hmph-ed.</p><p>
  <b>[Elizabeth I]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oi! That's me you're talking about!</b>
</p><p>Ah, so that's Elizabeth! Boleyn beamed.</p><p>
  <b>[Both]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tudor</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Superior to you, duh</b>
</p><p>Wow, such brilliant wordplay.</p><p>
  <b>[Henry VIII]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who followed me as ruler?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elizabeth I]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Best not to ask</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Henry VIII]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It must have been my laddie</b>
</p><p>Seymour stiffened.</p><p>
  <b>[Elizabeth I]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yes sickly little Eddie</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Was ill and soon got deady</b>
</p><p>A choked laugh escaped Seymour's mouth. She definitely did not expect to be laughing about her son's death anytime soon, but here she was. And all because of some strange box that showed moving pictures and sound.</p><p>
  <b>[Henry VIII]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And who came next?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Elizabeth I]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Your daughters then took over</b>
</p><p>The queens looked up, interested. They didn't know that, how did their daughters do?</p><p>
  <b>First came Bloody Mary</b>
</p><p>Aragon grinned again, if a little hesitantly.</p><p>
  <b>My sister's rule was scary</b>
</p><p>Oh. Aww. . .</p><p>
  <b>So all hail me</b>
</p><p>Boleyn flashed the screen a thumbs up.</p><p>
  <b>[Both]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tudors</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The history books reviewed us</b>
</p><p>
  <b>As nutters and big bruisers</b>
</p><p>. . .Oh.</p><p>
  <b>Who kill and cull</b>
</p><p>Even Elizabeth? Dang.</p><p>
  <b>[Elizabeth I]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I never had an heir</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So our reign ended there</b>
</p><p>Ah, that's. . .too bad?</p><p>
  <b>[Henry VIII]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We may not have been fair</b>
</p><p>The queens all snorted at that.</p><p>
  <b>[Both]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But we were never dull</b>
</p><p>. . .That was technically true. The video ended and the queens looked to Melinda for confirmation. She nodded back.</p><p>"Thank you for enduring that, hope you found it informative!" Melinda said, already flicking through the little squares on the screen. "Next will be basically Six the musical, but in a nutshell." At the queens' unimpressed faces, she pouted. "It's funny!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>to the people who requested that they react to Horrible Histories, I hope this is what you meant! if not, feel free to drop some links in the chat on what you want them to react to next!</p><p>they'll be reacting to "Six in a Nutshell" by Star-storm Animations on Youtube next :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Six in a Nutshell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch a six-minute-video that's basically just Six in a nutshell (as the title suggests).</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hoo boy this is longer than usual, but I finished it quicker! hope you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Melinda scrolled through her phone, finally wincing as she finished and tossed it aside. "Um, I kinda forgot something. You might not like what you hear? Especially you, Aragon. There's a lot of swears thrown around, so. . .yeah."</p><p>And before the queens could protest, Melinda started the video.</p><p>Comments all saying in different forms "do six in a nutshell" popped up on the screen, before being replaced with an animated girl doing different poses.</p><p>
  <b>[STAR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I have a feeling you guys want me to do Six in a nutshell!</b>
</p><p>She paused for a second. The queens listened attentively, if not a bit reluctantly.</p><p>
  <b>Alright. But seriously, guys, I have to be honest, I was really stumped on this one, *breath* because it's six historical individual events, but. . .Let's just have a massive history lesson, [BLEEP] it!</b>
</p><p>The queens jumped slightly at the bleep. This must've been what Melinda had meant by the swears thrown around.</p><p>
  <b>Alright, rolecall, what've we got?</b>
</p><p>The words flashed on the screen as Star said them.</p><p>
  <b>Catherine, Anne, Jane, also Anne, also Katherine, also Catherine.</b>
</p><p>Suspicions aside, this person was a really good artist.</p><p>
  <b>Start</b>
</p><p>The six individual drawings of the queens appeared on the screen as Star said their names, followed by the word "start."</p><p>First up was Aragon, obviously. The words on the screen were now yellow. Aragon raised an eyebrow at the screen.</p><p>
  <b>K [BLEEP]ers</b>
</p><p>Bleepers? What kind of swears were people using in the future?</p><p>
  <b>We started a band and whoever had the worst life was the leader.</b>
</p><p>. . .Yeah, basically.</p><p>
  <b>Basically. Got married, hubby died. </b>
</p><p>Aragon shrugged off the looks sent her way.</p><p>
  <b>Got married and had a little bitch for a daughter. </b>
</p><p>"HOW DARE YOU!" Aragon roared, her maternal instincts kicking in. She would not tolerate this slander against her daughter, especially since she (at the time) shared her hatred of Anne Boleyn. Of course, Aragon no longer hated her, but it was the thought that counts.</p><p>Melinda winced, pushing herself off the couch to try and calm Aragon down. Surprisingly, it was Cleves who got there first. She nudged Aragon into a corner, hopefully to explain how her daughter earned the name "Bloody Mary." The other queens stared at them confusedly for a moment, then turned their eyes back to the screen.</p><p>
  <b>Hubby had a son with a bitch then moved that bitch's sister into my house.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn scowled at the screen for calling her sister Mary a b*tch. She cast her mind back, trying to remember her nephew. Was it Henry Carey? It was, wasn't it? Whatever happened to him?</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>Aragon's figure started flipping back and forth as Star started singing.</p><p>
  <b>So you read a Bible verse that I'm cursed 'cause I was your brother's wife? </b>
</p><p>Ooh, Star was singing "No Way."</p><p>
  <b>You say it's a pity cuz quoting Leviticus I'll end up kiddiless all my life. </b>
</p><p>The little Star animation appeared in the bottom left corner as Aragon grew bigger. The queens involuntarily leaned back.</p><p>
  <b>Well, daddy, weren't you there when I gave birth to Mary? </b>
</p><p>Aragon moved to the side as the screen displayed a lovely view of how what seemed to be a turtle and Aragon made Mary. It was. . .quite peculiar.</p><p>
  <b>Little [BLEEP] [BLEEP]</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Aragon disappeared and Boleyn took her place. In real life, Aragon growled from where she was talking with Cleves.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ok [BLEEP] off slag it's my turn. </b>
</p><p>Oh no. The other queens glanced at Boleyn and Aragon, preparing themselves for an epic-level fight.</p><p>Nothing happened.</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>
  <b>*best girl* </b>
</p><p>Boleyn preened.</p><p>
  <b>Okay. Henry shagged my sister, then tried to shag me, but I told him to [BLEEP] off. Spoiler, he didn't [BLEEP] off. [BLEEP]head. </b>
</p><p>The queens looked at Boleyn with a newfound respect, partly for telling Henry to [BLEEP] off and partly for calling him a [BLEEP]head.</p><p>
  <b>So I moved into his house and he went to court trying to get his missus to [BLEEP] off. </b>
</p><p>The other queens froze. Still, nothing happened. What happened to the Aragon who lunged at Boleyn during "Don't Lose Ur Head?" What happened to the Boleyn who "accidentally" whacked Aragon in the face with her hair?</p><p>Not that they missed those people, but still. This character development was. . .jarring.</p><p>
  <b>During this time, I was forced to leave the love of my life, </b>
</p><p>Parr raised her fist to show that she understood. Boleyn smiled back.</p><p>
  <b>My family was threatened with ruin, then went through a [BLEEP]ton of pressure and abuse from Henry to give him a son. </b>
</p><p>Oh. Wow. Boleyn internally cringed but still sent a small smile to anyone who looked her way. She was fine! Right? No lasting repercussions, whatsoever, hehe. . .</p><p>
  <b>Post marriage, the country despised me, hehe.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn's drawing did some weird. . .movement(?) at the "hehe."</p><p>
  <b>I had a daughter (beginning of the end) then Henry took an interest in my lady-in-waiting, Jane. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>([BLEEP] off, Jane) </b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Boleyn's figure disappeared for a moment. In real life, Seymour winced.</p><p>
  <b>I actually did have sons, but they all died, </b>
</p><p>Oh, dear.</p><p>
  <b>And then in order to get rid of ME, Henry accused me of adultery and incest. </b>
</p><p>Boleyn mentally flipped off Henry. Maybe she could visit his grave and take a picture of her beaming. . .?</p><p>
  <b>He gave me a choice: die and Elizabeth will still be queen, or live and she forfeits the right to the throne. I chose death, and gave England one of its greatest monarchs. (you're welcome, by the way) </b>
</p><p>Oh wow, one of England's greatest monarchs? None of the queens had lived long enough to see Elizabeth's reign, but even so, that was awesome! And all thanks to Anne Boleyn.</p><p>Boleyn felt her heart fill with pride at the thought of her daughter ruling England, while Parr looked away guiltily at the mention of Elizabeth. She felt so horrible at the memory of Thomas (and sometimes herself) grooming the poor girl. At least she ended it, right?</p><p>
  <b>All at the cost of taking a sword to the neck. I mean. . .I guess he just really likes my head.</b>
</p><p>Boleyn laughed, a wonderful, joyous sound.</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sorry, not sorry, 'bout what I said! I'm just tryna have some fun (guitar imitation) </b>
</p><p>Boleyn started flipping back and forth, and during the guitar imitation an animation of a girl playing a guitar appeared alongside Boleyn.</p><p>
  <b>Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head (ha) </b>
</p><p>Another tiny animation appeared solely to laugh.</p><p>
  <b>I didn't mean to hurt anyone. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>LOL, say oh well, or go to hell (just go to hell) </b>
</p><p>Whoa, somehow one person is singing as two voices at the same time. The future had a lot in store for the queens.</p><p>
  <b>Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said (sorry not sorry 'bout what she said)</b>
</p><p>Three animations stacked on top of each other appeared to sing the backup vocals. They were cute, like little dumplings.</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah ok basically I die.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Next</b>
</p><p>Boleyn disappeared, only to be replaced by Seymour. Seymour cocked her head, curious as to how she would be portrayed.</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Okay me next, um. Got married, got pregnant, had a baby- oh. Oh I'm dead.</b>
</p><p>Aww. Was that it for Seymour? She frowned. There must be something interesting about her life, right? Like how Henry was actually her fifth cousin, and how the country liked her as their queen, and. . .huh. Was her life really that boring?</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can build me up, you can tear me down, you can try but I'm unbreakable.</b>
</p><p>Instead of the normal flippy drawing, an animation of Star appeared, dramatically singing Heart of Stone. Seymour's bit was much shorter than the other two queens, sadly.</p><p>
  <b>[INTERLUDE]</b>
</p><p>Simpler drawings of the queens appeared flipping back and forth while elevator music played. For a few seconds, it stayed like that, until Cleves appeared.</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ok I'm next. </b>
</p><p>Cleves grinned.</p><p>
  <b>Basically, Henry got clickbaited. </b>
</p><p>The grin turned uncertain. What does "clickbaited" mean?</p><p>
  <b>Well, that's what he told everyone. He actually tried to surprise me by dressing up as a peasant, like in the old English tales, </b>
</p><p>Cleves giggled, while the other queens cocked their heads at the screen.</p><p>
  <b>But he was ugly, and I'm German, so I wouldn't know the tales, so I got scared and yelled at him, </b>
</p><p>The queens all burst into guffaws at the tale, Cleves grinning smugly.</p><p>
  <b>So he kind of paid me with a life of luxury to not go to war 'cuz he was too butthurt to marry me. </b>
</p><p>Cleves pumped her fist.</p><p>
  <b>So technically. . .I'm kind of the one who survived, because I lost nothing (except the crown) I mean, come on. Cath lost her marriage, </b>
</p><p>Aragon shrugged.</p><p>
  <b>Jane lost her life, </b>
</p><p>Seymour frowned.</p><p>
  <b>Anne lost her head. </b>
</p><p>Boleyn batted her eyes.</p><p>
  <b>I mean come on, I lived a pampered life in a palace in Richmond with more money than I could ever spend in a lifetime. No stupid fat king to tell me what to do. I'm literally the queen of the castle, bitches!</b>
</p><p>Okay, now the jealousy was flooding back in.</p><p>
  <b>Woohoo!</b>
</p><p>An animation of Cleves and Star appeared, only to be replaced by Howard.</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wheeeeey time for the slag, </b>
</p><p>Howard winced at the name.</p><p>
  <b>Woo. . .I'm just kidding, </b>
</p><p>. . .Oh.</p><p>
  <b>I was actually a kid that got used by several men and died as a result. Honestly, even though I'm not the best queen (which is my opinion) I did kind of have it the worst. </b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Howard disappeared and was soon replaced by a Star animation slumped against the bottom left corner. In real life, Howard perked up at the fact that she won. . .then realized she shouldn't be happy that she had the worst life out of the six.</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All you wanna do, all you wanna do baby, is touch me love me can't get enoughsie (laughs) What the [BLEEP] was that?</b>
</p><p>Finally, Parr took the stage. Parr tilted her head. If Seymour was shown in such a few short sentences, how would Parr be portrayed?</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wooooo, we're nearly doneeeee, okay. I had the love of my life, then like Anne Boleyn, </b>
</p><p>Parr and Boleyn shot finger guns at each other. Melinda finally understood why some people shipped Parrlyn.</p><p>
  <b>I had to leave him. Then, THE [BLEEP]ER DIED! WOO! </b>
</p><p>The queens snickered.</p><p>
  <b>But I didn't really do much better, </b>
</p><p>. . .Oh.</p><p>
  <b>'cuz my new husband started grooming the still-very-young princess Liz, </b>
</p><p>"WHAT?!" Boleyn yelled, whirling towards Parr. She winced, and tugged Boleyn to a corner to talk. That left Aragon and Cleves in one corner, Parr and Boleyn in another, and Howard, Seymour, and Melinda on the couches.</p><p>
  <b>Then I died. But I did have a pretty decent life I guess. Wrote some [BLEEP], I was pretty cool.</b>
</p><p>Parr grinned.</p><p>
  <b>[ARAGON]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So we had no choice</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the queens' figures from the interlude reappeared as they sang "I Don't Need Your Love." In real life, the queens shifted closer to the screen in interest.</p><p>
  <b>[BOLEYN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But now it's us alone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[SEYMOUR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So we had no choice</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CLEVES]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No we had no choice</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[HOWARD]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We're taking back the microphone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[PARR]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm gonna raise my voice</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>*you wanted singing* They always said we need your love, but it's time for us to rise *now prepare for a lot of it* above *#sorrynotsorry*</b>
</p><p>Seriously, though, it's so cool how one person can sing six parts at the same time.</p><p>
  <b>It's not what went down in history</b>
</p><p>The more-detailed drawings of the queens slowly replaced the simpler ones as the music progressed.</p><p>
  <b>But tonight I'm singing this for me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Henry, yeah. I'm through</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too many times it's been told, and</b>
</p><p>Six silhouettes of items appeared on the screen: a cross, sword, heart, knight, axe(?), and a feather pen. Soon, they flashed the colors of their respective queens and were replaced by the detailed drawings. The queens were impressed.</p><p>
  <b>I have had enough love stories to get old, and you might think it's tough, but I got to let your love run cold. We're taking back control (We're taking back control)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You need to know</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love, no, no</b>
</p><p>The figures started flipping back and forth.</p><p>
  <b>No, I don't need your love, *I'm running out of ideas to make this less boring* </b>
</p><p>An animation of Star hunched over a desk appeared. The queens' eyes were drawn toward it, wondering what exactly it would do.</p><p>
  <b>No, no *so let's have a chat, shall we? How you guys doing? Good?* </b>
</p><p>The queens glanced at each other. The five queens who could read (at least to a certain degree) wondered if they were supposed to respond. Cleves, who sadly couldn't read, wished she could. Melinda quickly granted that wish.</p><p>
  <b>You'll never get the better of us *Good. I'm fine. Bit tired, tho. Neck kinda hurts.* </b>
</p><p>Aww, that's no good.</p><p>
  <b>No, no. *Staring down at my screen all day. S'areet tho* No I don't need your love *wanted to finish the video. There's plenty more to go* </b>
</p><p>Ooh. The queens hoped the little desk person would explain how she was able to make the video. It seemed quite intriguing.</p><p>
  <b>No, no. *might go back to portraits. Don't know how much more my neck can take* </b>
</p><p>The desk animation disappeared as Star's simple animation started doing poses again. The queens hoped that Star's neck was alright now.</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love, no, no (I don't need your love)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(I don't need your love)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, I don't need your love, no, no (I don't need your love)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love, no, no (No, no, no, no, no)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't need your love</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(Ooh)</b>
</p><p>The three dumpling people appeared again to provide backup vocals. The littlest one clapped twice. They're just adorable!</p><p>
  <b>We don't need your love!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Woo! History kids unite! Ok, we're done, bye.</b>
</p><p>Melinda applauded, snapping the queens out of their stupor. The video was only almost six minutes long, not nearly enough time to develop a stupor, anyway.</p><p>"Did you enjoy it?" she smiled cheekily.</p><p>Aragon sniffed. "It could've been better."</p><p>"Oh, hush up, Aragon," Cleves interrupted, crossing her arms. "The box voice was right about Mary and you know it."</p><p>"Maybe you don't know all the facts!" Aragon spluttered, looking to Melinda for help. The teen shrugged.</p><p>"History class hasn't covered her yet," she explained. "Oh, and the 'box' is called a TV." Aragon huffed, and turned back to the screen.</p><p>"So what are we gonna watch next?" Howard asked, turning so she could face Melinda.</p><p>"Next," the girl grinned. "is a little something called 'Waitress.'"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>To the people who requested Waitress, how would you like me to have them react to it? I know for sure that they're not going to react to the entire musical, just the soundtrack. Do you want me to have separate chapters for each song, or just a summary of their reactions? I'm leaning towards the separate chapters, tbh.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. What's Inside + Opening Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens listen to the first two songs of "Waitress."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've decided that I'll have the queens react to two songs per chapter, so these might take longer than five days to write. Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The queens stared. And stared. And stared.</p><p>"What's a 'Waitress?'" Aragon finally spoke up. Melinda's eyes widened as she slapped a hand to her forehead.</p><p>"Oh! And ow, that kinda hurt. So you know those servants who would bring you your food?" The queens nodded. "Waitresses are the female versions of those. Or, I guess they are those, I don't know the genders of the people who served you."</p><p>Understanding dawned on their faces.</p><p>"So someone made a musical about waitresses, of all people?" Cleves asked, one eyebrow raised.</p><p>"Yup!" Melinda grinned. She loved this musical. "It's about a waitress who works at this pie restaurant, and she's in this abusive marriage, which sucks, but she's also pregnant, so she goes to the doctor, and she ends up having an affair with said doctor (who's married), and one of her best friends who's married has an affair with one of the chefs at the pie restaurant, and her other best friend marries her first Tinder date. Oh! And the actress who plays the main character is the sister of the person who plays Seymour-" she pointed at the real Seymour. "-in the Broadway production of Six." She ended her explanation with a flourish, waving the remote.</p><p>The queens blinked.</p><p>"Ok," Boleyn said, shrugging. "Do hope she gets out of that relationship, though." The queens all shared sad looks. They knew firsthand how hard it could be to stand up to abusers.</p><p>Melinda's grin grew wider, while her eyes grew sadder. "Believe me, she will. For now, though, let's listen to the musical! The first song is called 'What's Inside.'" And with that, Melinda pressed play.</p><p>
  <b>Sugar</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sugar</b>
</p><p>The queens tilted their heads.</p><p>
  <b>Sugar, butter</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sugar, butter</b>
</p><p>Are they. . .repeating ingredients?</p><p>
  <b>Sugar, butter, flour</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sugar, butter, flour</b>
</p><p>Ah. They are.</p><p>. . .Interesting.</p><p>
  <b>Sugar, butter, flour</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sugar, butter, flour</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My hands pluck the things I know that I'll need</b>
</p><p>Ah, the voice stopped saying ingredients.</p><p>
  <b>I take the sugar and butter from the pantry</b>
</p><p>. . .Nope, the ingredients were here to stay. Then again, it is about a woman who serves food for a living.</p><p>
  <b>I add the flour to begin what I am hoping to start</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And then it's down with the recipe</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And bake from the heart</b>
</p><p>Isn't this woman a waitress, though? Why would she be baking?</p><p>On another note, this woman's voice was <em>angelic</em>.</p><p>
  <b>Sugar</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And butter</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And flour</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And mother</b>
</p><p>Aww, she mentioned her mother! The mother's probably dead, then, that's too bad.</p><p>
  <b>What's inside?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everyone wants to know what's inside</b>
</p><p>Is that really such a pressing question? Obviously, the queens wanted to know what was inside the food they ate because one wrong bite and they're dead, but in the future, things had to be better, right?</p><p>
  <b>And I always tell them</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I feel more than words can say</b>
</p><p>It's just what she said, right? Sugar and butter and all that stuff. Is it really that complicated?</p><p>
  <b>You wanna know what's inside?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Simple question, so then what's the answer?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My whole life is in here</b>
</p><p>Oh. It was an abstract type of thing. Yeah, that makes more sense.</p><p>
  <b>In this kitchen baking</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What a mess I'm making</b>
</p><p>"So?" Melinda clasped her hands behind her back. "What did you think?"</p><p>"Well, for one thing," Parr spoke up, smiling at the teen. "her voice is beautiful." The queens all readily agreed, watching as Melinda's beam grew bigger.</p><p>"Just wait until you hear the harmonies!" Melinda clapped, barely containing her glee. "Do you have any questions?"</p><p>"Yeah, who exactly was singing?" Cleves asked, raising her hand.</p><p>"That, my dear queen," Melinda said, pointing her finger at Cleves. "was Jenna Hunterson, the main character. She's the one in the abusive relationship and the main waitress."</p><p>"But she wasn't the person in the beginning, was she?" Seymour pointed out. Melinda raised her eyebrows.</p><p>"Yeah, actually, I think that voice is the original songwriter for this song, Sara Bareilles," she explained. "Anyway, the next song is called 'Opening Up,' and it's about the restaurant opening up! Enjoy!" Melinda pointed her remote at the screen, relaxing as she played it.</p><p>
  <b>[CAL, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Jenna! What's the special pie today?</b>
</p><p>The queens jumped, surprised at how the mood changed. "What's Inside" was slow and sweet, while they could already tell that this was going to be fast-paced.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Uh, deep shit blueberry bacon</b>
</p><p>This prompted several unsaid questions from the queens. First of all, deep sh*t? Second of all, blueberry bacon? Third of all, blueberry bacon in a pie?</p><p>
  <b>[CAL, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Deep shit?</b>
</p><p>Good, this man had the same questions.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ye- uh, dish! Deep dish. Sorry, Cal!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CAL, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>C'mon, girl</b>
</p><p>The queens turned up their noses at the new "blueberry bacon" flavor, while Melinda held back her tears as she was reminded of Trip from Agents of SHIELD.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The day starts like the rest we've seen</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Another carbon copy of an old routine</b>
</p><p>What does carbon copy mean?</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Days keep coming</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>One out, one in</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY, DAWN &amp; JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>They keep coming</b>
</p><p>Judging from Melinda's facial expression, these two must be Becky and Dawn!</p><p>
  <b>[CAL, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And make the coffee strong enough to chew!</b>
</p><p>
  <em>. . .Why?</em>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't know what I wish I had</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But there's no time now for thinking things like that</b>
</p><p>Ah, wishful thinking. Everyone had some experience with that.</p><p>
  <b>We've got too much to do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY AND DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Too much to do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>All these same things</b>
</p><p>Ooh, this must be what Melinda meant about the harmonies!</p><p>
  <b>We're always</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Opening up</b>
</p><p>Ah, there's the title drop.</p><p>
  <b>Letting the day in</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Over a cup</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We'll say "hello, how ya been?"</b>
</p><p>Whoa, these harmonies were beautiful!</p><p>
  <b>Looking around</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Seeing the same things</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Every day brings</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Wow.</em>
</p><p>
  <b>"Hello, how ya been?"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>"Thank you, come again!"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Some things never change</b>
</p><p>Wouldn't that be boring, though? The same routine everyday, over and over again. Huh. Maybe that would be a recurring theme in this musical.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I wouldn't call this place a happy end</b>
</p><p>Ooh, one of Jenna's friends must be singing.</p><p>
  <b>But I been 'round the block and just came back again</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A small town like ours ain't much</b>
</p><p>So they live in a small town? And their accent was definitely not British. . .this was important information that would be filed away in the queens' memory for now.</p><p>
  <b>But sometimes home is where your ass ends up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CAL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Order up!</b>
</p><p>Would this man be important?</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ordered up is how the day will find me</b>
</p><p>Jenna's other friend was probably singing, fun.</p><p>
  <b>Everything in its place and time</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I like the way most of the days look exactly the same</b>
</p><p>. . .To each their own.</p><p>
  <b>[CAL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Order up!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Check the clock</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tick, tick tock</b>
</p><p>Actually, that raised an unrelated question from the queens. What time was it, wherever they are?</p><p>
  <b>[CAL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't stop!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Serve with a smile!</b>
</p><p>Oh, faking smiles! That was definitely a shared experience.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hurry up, fill the coffee cup</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And then in a while</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Take a breath when you need to be reminded that with days like these</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We can only do the best we can</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Til we do it again</b>
</p><p>That must be so tedious. . .</p><p>
  <b>[CAL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Come on, move it now!</b>
</p><p>Melinda started bopping along to the song, earning many confused looks. That is, until Howard bopped along as well.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Opening up</b>
</p><p>The angelic harmonies were back!</p><p>
  <b>Letting the day in</b>
</p><p>The queens slowly joined in on the bopping.</p><p>
  <b>Opening up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Some things never change</b>
</p><p>
  <b>"Hello, how ya been?"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>"Thank you, come again!"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Some things never change</b>
</p><p>Hmm, that line was probably going to be important. Melinda paused the video, smiling sunnily at the queens. "What did you think about that?"</p><p>"You were definitely right about the harmonies," Aragon answered, grinning back at the teen.</p><p>"I have a question," Boleyn raised her hand. "Which one is Becky and Dawn?"</p><p>"Becky is the one who goes 'I wouldn't call this place a happy end' and Dawn is the one who likes how everything's exactly the same," Melinda explained.</p><p>The queens nodded, and Howard asked her question. "The man who said 'Order up,' Cal or something, is he important?"</p><p>Melinda scrunched her eyebrows. "Yes, I'm pretty sure. He's the guy Becky was having an affair with."</p><p>The queens leaned back, satisfied. Melinda grinned once more and clicked to the next song.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next songs will be "the negative" and "what baking can do"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. The Negative + What Baking Can Do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Jenna panic over her pregnancy.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I STAYED ON SCHEDULE!!! Woo this was close. All the info I found for this chapter was from a quick Google search so they might not be the most accurate. For that one part of What Baking Can Do, I couldn't find if any of the queens had allergies, so in this fic they don't. Also, as you can probably already see, I took a lot of artistic liberty, so be warned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After finding the track, Melinda paused for a second. "This song is called 'The Negative,' and it's about Becky and Dawn helping Jenna figure out whether she was pregnant or not." She tilted her head. "How did you guys find out you were pregnant in the olden days?"</p><p>The queens all looked at each other.</p><p>"I'm not answering this," Howard decided, and went back to munching her popcorn. Boleyn snorted.</p><p>Seymour took the question. "I first started questioning whether I was with child when my monthly course didn't come." Melinda sent her a questioning look. Seymour sent one back. "Do you not have that time of month when God punishes you? When your-" she gestured to her lower area. "-bleeds? Is that another change in the future?"</p><p>Melinda's expression cleared. "Oh, you mean periods! We still have those, and they aren't actually the result of God's wrath, but we don't have time for sex ed right now. How did you confirm your suspicion?"</p><p>Seymour blinked, her mind reeling at the revelation. "Uh, right. Anyway, the palace doctor had me pee in a basin, and then he placed a latch in it and left it there for a few hours. After we took out the pee and the latch had made an indentation on the basin, so that's how I knew I was pregnant."</p><p>Melinda scrunched her eyebrows. "That's weird. In the future, you. . .actually, I don't know how pregnancy tests work. And I don't wanna know, but there's definitely no basin or latch involved. I think." The queens scrutinized her. There was so much they had to catch up on, and they were not ready at all. Melinda suddenly grinned, and turned her eyes back to the screen. "Well, enjoy the song!"</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Jenna, time to pee on a stick</b>
</p><p>Melinda snickered at the scandalized expressions on the queens' faces.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wh-? I don't wanna know</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Come on honey, you've waited long enough</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Get to it and do it</b>
</p><p>Could they go back to the "peeing on a stick" part?!</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wh- okay, girls! Enough!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You know what we mean</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I hope you drank enough this morning</b>
</p><p>This was a song about using a pregnancy test, yes? Huh, maybe the peeing stayed the same no matter what time period you're in.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Come on, sweetie, it's better to know</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We'll be right here with you, so</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's no or it's yes</b>
</p><p>Melinda scrunched her face up. She never understood what Dawn had said in this line until she looked up the lyrics.</p><p>
  <b>But either way you gotta take the test</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A squat and a squeeze</b>
</p><p>The queens were surprised at how easily the women talked about peeing. Henry was always disgusted when they brought up their bodily functions. It was great that things were different!</p><p>
  <b>A prayer and a please</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's nothing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A stick and a line</b>
</p><p>Pregnancy tests in the future use. . .sticks. And lines. Fun. . .</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just one of 'em, if I'm lucky</b>
</p><p>. . .Ah. Yes, that definitely makes sense.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A pot and a piss</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Here we go, sis</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And we'll keep our focus on</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The negative</b>
</p><p>The queens perked up at the title drop. What did it mean, though?</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Read the instructions</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Se puede saber la duracion-</b>
</p><p>Aragon and Parr were pleasantly surprised to hear Spanish, although the accent was horrendous.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>English!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Do not insert the test stick into your vagina</b>
</p><p>The queens turned towards Melinda, who simply shrugged.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wooooow. Thank you, Dawn</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>How'd I ever get myself in this mess?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>One drunk night in that stupid red dress</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, I love that red dress! The way it sparkles, it looks like an ice skating outfit</b>
</p><p>The queens scrutinized the screen. It struck them that they didn't know how much fashion had progressed, although according to this song, clothes now had sparkles.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Stay with us, Dawn!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Maybe his machinery is broken somehow?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What if his boys don't swim? I mean, wow!</b>
</p><p>The queens didn't have to be a part of this time period to understand that innuendo.</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Miraculous luck!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, miraculous!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To get away with an unprotected f-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Funny how one night can ruin your whole life</b>
</p><p>Judging by how Jenna had cut off Becky, she was probably going to cuss. That was fine. The queens definitely didn't want to learn more about the swears of today's time.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't go there yet, we don't know what the test says</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm already panicked!</b>
</p><p>The mothers clucked their tongue sympathetically.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just calm down, Godammit!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Maybe it'll all be fine</b>
</p><p>Again, you didn't have to be a part of this time period to know things wouldn't be fine. There probably wouldn't be a musical if things were fine.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Maybe there'll be just one line</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Come on, negative!</b>
</p><p>Again, what does that mean?</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I thought you don't sleep much with your husband much anymore?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Well, I - he got me drunk. I do stupid things when I drink, like sleep with my husband</b>
</p><p>Melinda pulled a face.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Honey, we've all made that mistake</b>
</p><p>The queens all heartily agreed.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Focus on the negative!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>This will all be alright</b>
</p><p>Little did they know, it was not, in fact, alright.</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It was only one night</b>
</p><p>The queens snorted. That was always Henry's go-to excuse for all of his mistresses.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Someone send me a sign</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>One line</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY, DAWN &amp; JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>One line</b>
</p><p>Melinda had a vague understanding of pregnancy tests; two lines meant you were pregnant and one line meant you weren't. But how did they even get those lines in the first place?</p><p>. . .She didn't want to know.</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That means the test is ready</b>
</p><p>
  <b>This is it...</b>
</p><p>The queens leaned towards in anticipation.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shit!</b>
</p><p>Ah. Melinda grinned and clapped her hands, bringing the queens' attention to her. "So?"</p><p>"It was very. . .relatable," Cleves said, testing out the new word. Melinda beamed, which she took to mean she succeeded.</p><p>"I mean, I can't speak for the rest of us, but even though I didn't understand how the pregnancy test worked, I understood the feeling it gave you," Seymour told her, the very definition of a mom.</p><p>Aragon spoke next. "What's going to happen next?"</p><p>"The next song is called 'What Baking Can Do,' and I'm pretty sure Jenna's baking a pie to give to her doctor," Melinda explained, shrugging again. "It's been awhile since I've read the synopsis on Wikipedia, though."</p><p>The queens chose not to ask what Wikipedia was and simply nodded as Melinda played the next song.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Make it work</b>
</p><p>Melinda smiled softly, leaning back into her seat. This was one of her favorite songs from Waitress, on account of how soothing it was.</p><p>
  <b>Make it easy</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Make it clever, craft it into pieces</b>
</p><p>The queens racked their heads, wondering what "it" was.</p><p>
  <b>Make it sweet</b>
</p><p>Melinda hesitated, before snapping her fingers and conjuring up a table of pies. The queens stared at the new addition to the room, before Melinda snapped again and conjured up plates, napkins, and utensils. The queens kept staring. Melinda blew a raspberry and snapped for the last time, assembling plates of pie slices for each of the queens.</p><p>
  <b>Crimp the edges</b>
</p><p>"Eat up," the teen told them, making her own plate.</p><p>
  <b>We'll make it sour and serve with lemon wedges</b>
</p><p>The queens picked at their pies, knowing now from Melinda's very obvious hint that Jenna had been talking about pies.</p><p>
  <b>Even doubt</b>
</p><p>Aragon decided to take the first bite.</p><p>
  <b>Can be delicious</b>
</p><p>"Mmph!" the yellow queen moaned. Melinda grinned, and the other queens took that as confirmation to start eating.</p><p>
  <b>And it washes off of all the dirty dishes</b>
</p><p>Everyone wondered what doubt, an emotion and an abstract idea, would taste like.</p><p>
  <b>When it's done</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I can smile</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's on someone else's plate for a while</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll place it on display</b>
</p><p>Jenna's transition was <em>so</em> smooth.</p><p>
  <b>And then I'll slice and serve my worries away</b>
</p><p>Melinda felt this experience would feel more interesting if the queens were actually watching a slime tutorial of what happened during the song instead of just listening to the music, because up until they got the pies, they were just staring into space. She made a mental note to find slime tutorials of the next songs.</p><p>
  <b>I can fix this</b>
</p><p>The queens assumed that "this" was the pregnancy. If so, how exactly would Jenna be able to fix it?</p><p>
  <b>I can twist it into sugar, butter covered pieces</b>
</p><p>. . .Baking? Really?</p><p>Although, judging from some of the earlier lyrics, it was probably metaphorical.</p><p>
  <b>Never mind what's underneath it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I have done it before</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll bake me a door to help me get through</b>
</p><p>A door?</p><p>
  <b>I learned that from you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Mama, it's amazing what baking can do</b>
</p><p>First things first, this singer was <em>so</em> good. Secondly, Jenna's speaking to her dead mom, that's kinda sad.</p><p>
  <b>Make it up</b>
</p><p>Melinda liked this next verse, for some reason. The abstract-ness of the things it was describing was. . .nice.</p><p>
  <b>And surprise them</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tell them all my secrets but disguise them</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So they dance on the tongues</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Of the very people that they're secrets from</b>
</p><p>The queens reevaluated everything they knew about Jenna. Which wasn't much, but still. Disguising secrets and telling them to the people they knew was an interesting pastime.</p><p>
  <b>Make it soon</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Make it better</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Though, better never lasts forever</b>
</p><p>Oh, that's pessimistic.</p><p>
  <b>I'll make it small so it fits</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Even this</b>
</p><p>Melinda sang quietly, snapping her fingers so the queens couldn't hear her and therefore wouldn't be distracted.</p><p>
  <b>Even now</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Even as the walls come tumbling down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Even as I can't stop remembering how</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Every door we ever made, we never once walked out</b>
</p><p>So doors would be important in this musical, good to know.</p><p>
  <b>Something I never got the chance to ask her about</b>
</p><p>The queens looked to Melinda for confirmation that Jenna was talking about her mother, but the teen was too distracted to respond.</p><p>
  <b>So with flour on my hands</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll show them all how</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Goddamn happy I am</b>
</p><p>. . .Yeah, she sounded real happy just then.</p><p>
  <b>Sugar, butter, flour</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't let me down</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Let's see the next amazing thing baking does now</b>
</p><p>The queens sat silently as Jenna finished. Her voice was. . .it's hard to describe. It was soft, but strong, and soothing as well. She would be amazing at singing lullabies.</p><p>"Well?" Melinda asked, panting slightly.</p><p>Howard grinned. "I learned a new swear!" The other queens started admonishing her, some covering up their own grins.</p><p>"That. . .was not what I was expecting for you to take away from this song but ok," Melinda said, snickering. "Any questions?"</p><p>"Jenna was baking, right?" Boleyn asked. "And 'it' from 'I can fix it' was her pregnancy?"</p><p>"Yes and yes," Melinda said, only half-focusing as she was clicking through Youtube to find a slime tutorial of "Club Knocked-Up."</p><p>"What are you looking for?" Parr spoke up, the only one of the queens who hadn't spoken until now (she didn't want to be left out, ok? Don't judge her).</p><p>"A slime tutorial!" Melinda exclaimed, both answering Parr's question and rejoicing over finding a slime tutorial. The queens stared at her. They'd been doing that a lot, lately. "A slime tutorial is basically a totally-legal recording of the show you're watching. You actually watched a slime tutorial of Six!"</p><p>The queens all let out noises of understanding as Melinda readied the remote.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sources used:   </p><p>https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/48655/8-historical-methods-detecting-pregnancy</p><p>https://www.tudorsociety.com/menstruation-in-the-tudor-period-by-sarah-bryson/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Club Knocked Up + Pomatter Pie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Jenna go to the doctor's office, and are introduced to Doctor Pomatter.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was going to do three songs bc pomatter pie doesn't have words but I realized I wouldn't be able to uphold the five-day deadline, so I decided to just stick to two a chappie. Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Right before Melinda pressed "play," she smacked her head with her free hand. "I almost forgot! This next song is called "'Club Knocked Up,' and in it, a bunch of pregnant women welcome Jenna into their club of pregnant people. . .?"</p><p>At the queens' unimpressed looks, she shrugged.</p><p>"I'm not actually sure, this is the first time I'm watching this. Well, other than the time my mom watched a Waitress bootleg, but I didn't actually pay attention until 'Bad Idea,' because they were doing something inappropriate, and I didn't notice until my brother pointed it out, and that forever ruined Jeremy Jordan for me, but it didn't fully register that that was Jeremy Jordan until I watched Newsies so. . ." The teen faltered as she took in the queens' expressions. She laughed awkwardly. "Anyway, enjoy the song!"</p><p>The camera focused on three pregnant women sitting, as Jenna made her way to join them holding a pie.</p><p>
  <b>[COMPANY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Knock knock</b>
</p><p>Melinda grinned, bobbing along. This was a short song, but catchy!</p><p>
  <b>Knock knock</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who's there?</b>
</p><p>Melinda scrutinized the queens. She knew they wouldn't understand this song, let alone the rest of the musical, but maybe they would still appreciate the harmonies and instrumentals. . .?</p><p>
  <b>Who's there?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Knocked up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Knocked up who?</b>
</p><p>The queens turned toward Melinda, utterly confused. They had absolutely no idea what was going on.</p><p>
  <b>You there</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Join us</b>
</p><p>At least Melinda's summary of this song made sense to the queens. The pregnant women were welcoming Jenna into their "club knocked up."</p><p>
  <b>[NURSE, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Mrs. Hunterson, the doctor will see you now</b>
</p><p>Jenna Hunterson. That's a nice name.</p><p>
  <b>[COMPANY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Welcome to club knocked up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Knock knock</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who's there?</b>
</p><p>Hmm, they repeated that part. Was it a joke, maybe?</p><p>
  <b>Precious</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Precious who?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Precious little parasite who set its sights on you</b>
</p><p>The would-be mothers choked on their laughter. That was certainly an interesting way to describe children.</p><p>
  <b>Dream come true</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Welcome to club knocked up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Welcome to club knocked up</b>
</p><p>"So?" Melinda asked, fast-forwarding to the next song, "Pomatter Pie."</p><p>"It was a short song, but nice-sounding," Boleyn declared, stabbing her jello pie with gusto.</p><p>"Yeah, even though it didn't make sense," Howard agreed, her voice half-muffled by the apple pie in her mouth.</p><p>Melinda stifled a snicker. "Great! The next song is called 'Pomatter Pie,' and it has no words. Basically, it's just the doctor eating the pie Jennag gave him. And yes, this is the doctor Jenna ends up having an affair with. So, uh, enjoy this short song, I guess."</p><p>Onscreen, the pie lay on the seat as Dr. Pomatter stood alone in the room. He stared at the cake, then shook his head and walked out the door. The queens covered up a few laughs as he stuck his head back in. Pomatter picked up the pie, then lunged to pull open a drawer in the seat, taking out a stethoscope (not that the queens knew what it was). Melinda burst into giggles as he used the stethoscope to eat the pie. The song paused as Pomatter took the first bite, then picked up as he was obviously stunned by Jenna's baking prowess. The queens let out a few "aww"'s as the doctor is rolled out.</p><p>Melinda paused the slime tutorial and turned to the queens, opening her mouth. Seymour beat her to the punch.</p><p>"It's just adorable," she said, grinning. Melinda beamed back.</p><p>Aragon raised her hand. "One question: what was the doctor using to eat the pie?"</p><p>Melinda rewinded back to said moment and paused. "That's called a stethoscope, doctors use it to measure your heartbeat."</p><p>The queens scrutinized the screen.</p><p>"Then why would he use it to eat a pie?" Parr asked, scratching her head. Melinda snickered.</p><p>"For comedic effect, probably." The queens contemplated the revelation, and the teen turned to the screen and started fast-forwarding. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was shorter than usual, but I hope you still liked it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. When He Sees Me + It Only Takes A Taste</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Dawn's solo and Dr. Pomatter's singing debut.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I keep forgetting to say this but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE SUPPORT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Melinda soon paused, having gotten to the correct timestamp. "On to the next song! It's called 'When He Sees Me,' and it's a solo for Dawn. I think she's about to go on a date, and she's detailing all of her worries. Enjoy!"</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I stick with real things</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Dawn, Becky, and Jenna stood behind the counter. The queens were delighted to be able to actually see what the characters looked like.</p><p>
  <b>Usually facts and figures</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When information's in its place</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I minimize the guessing game</b>
</p><p>The queens contemplated Dawn's voice. She had an accent, but not like anything they'd ever heard before.</p><p>
  <b>Guess what?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA &amp; BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't like guessing games</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Or when I feel things</b>
</p><p>Melinda started to nod.</p><p>
  <b>Before I know the feelings</b>
</p><p>Melinda stopped nodding.</p><p>
  <b>How am I supposed to operate</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If I'm just tossed around by fate?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Like on an unexpected date?</b>
</p><p>Huh, that was one way of thinking about it. It was the anxiety-inducing way, though, so Melinda made a note not to use it if she ever scored a date.</p><p>
  <b>The stranger who might talk too fast</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Dawn pressed the yellow pump into the red container along with the beat, which was obviously not what she was supposed to do. The queens stifled their snickers.</p><p>
  <b>Or ask me questions about myself</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Before I've decided that</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Becky moved Dawn over to the correct pump, and she continued to press it along to the beat. The queens wondered if the substances would be all mixed up now.</p><p>
  <b>He can ask me questions about myself</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He might sit too close</b>
</p><p>Melinda wrinkled her nose. If her date didn't respect her personal space, she'd be uncomfortable too.</p><p>
  <b>Or call the waiter by his first name</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Or eat Oreos</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Dawn picked up an Oreo. In real life, the queens had no idea what an Oreo was, and thus did not know if eating Oreos was something bad.</p><p>
  <b>But eat the cookie before the cream?</b>
</p><p>Melinda covered up a laugh.</p><p>
  <b>But what scares me the most</b>
</p><p>
  <b>what scares me the most</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Is what if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it?</b>
</p><p>Melinda wished she could tell Dawn that no matter what her date thought of her, she was still awesome.</p><p>
  <b>What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What happens then?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If when he knows me, he's only disappointed?</b>
</p><p>Dawn's voice was interesting; it vibrated a lot, and really showed how anxious Dawn's character was. <em>Definitely</em> different from Jenna's voice.</p><p>
  <b>What if I give myself away, to only get it given back?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I couldn't live with that</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Melinda pursed her lips.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So, I'm just fine, inside my shell-shaped mind</b>
</p><p>
  <b>This way I get the best view</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So, when he sees me, I want him to</b>
</p><p>The queens found Dawn to be an endearing character. They were certainly intrigued to see what she was going to do next.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Dawn, don't you think you're being a little, I mean maybe just a tad--</b>
</p><p>Hmm, this must be Jenna. Her voice didn't sound like Becky.</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm not defensive</b>
</p><p>The queens all snorted.</p><p>
  <b>I'm simply being cautious</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I can't risk reckless dating</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Due to my miscalculating</b>
</p><p>Melinda mouthed the lyrics; she always did like this song, even if she had to sing most of it in falsetto because she doesn't have a high range.</p><p>
  <b>While a certain suitor stands in line</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I've seen in movies</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Most made for television</b>
</p><p>The queens could tell that the screen they were watching was a television, but what did Dawn mean by "most?"</p><p>
  <b>You cannot be too careful</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When it comes to sharing your life</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I could end up a miserable wife</b>
</p><p>The queens could definitely relate to that line.</p><p>
  <b>He could be criminal, some sort of psychopath</b>
</p><p>
  <b>who escaped from an institution,</b>
</p><p>That reminded the queens; how did people in 2021 deal with criminals?</p><p>
  <b>Somewhere where they don't have girls</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He could have masterminded some way to find me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He could be colorblind</b>
</p><p>The queens wondered what "colorblind" meant.</p><p>
  <b>How untrustworthy is that</b>
</p><p>
  <b>He could be less than kind</b>
</p><p>The queens all nodded at that.</p><p>
  <b>Or even worse he could be very nice, have lovely eyes</b>
</p><p>That was strange. What could be so bad about a nice, handsome suitor?</p><p>
  <b>And make me laugh, come out of hiding</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What do I do with that?</b>
</p><p>Ah, that was understandable.</p><p>
  <b>Oh, God</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What if when he sees me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I like him and he knows it?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What if he opens up a door</b>
</p><p>Wow, Dawn's actress was good. On a side note, doors seemed to be really important in this musical.</p><p>
  <b>And I can't close it?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What happens then?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If when he holds me</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Dawn was picked up by one of the customers and swung around, before being placed on the cart. It was impressive how she could keep singing during all that.</p><p>
  <b>My heart is set in motion</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm not prepared for that</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm scared of breaking open</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Wow.</em>
</p><p>
  <b>But still I can't help from hoping</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To find someone to talk to</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who likes the way I am</b>
</p><p>The queens wondered if they would ever find someone like Dawn had described. Well, four queens wondered that. The other two queens wondered if they had found "the one." Melinda just hoped she could find someone who would put up with her screeching along to Broadway musicals at 3 a.m.</p><p>
  <b>Someone who when he sees me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wants to again</b>
</p><p>Melinda beamed, before turning to the queens. "What did you think of her?"</p><p>"She's certainly very intriguing," Aragon said, unaware of the flecks of crumbs on her lip.</p><p>"Catalina, you've got a-" Boleyn gestured at the crumb mustache, watching as the yellow queen tried and failed to wipe it away. "-oh, for the love of- here, let me get it." Boleyn snatched up a napkin and clambered over to where Aragon was, both queens trying not to blush as the green queen wiped away the crumbs. The other queens finally understood why they weren't rivals anymore.</p><p>Melinda smirked. "The next song is called 'It Only Takes A Taste,' and it's a duet between Dr. Pomatter and Jenna. Surprisingly, they're not at a doctor's office, but at a bus stop." She fast-forwarded to the right stop. "I actually really like this song, for some reason. I probably shouldn't, because my mom said it was an innuendo, but I don't get it, so. . .anyway, enjoy!"</p><p>Onscreen, Dr. Pomatter and Jenna sat together on a bench, the only things visible on the stage.</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You know what's kind of funny?</b>
</p><p>Ooh, the queens finally got to hear Dr. Pomatter's voice.</p><p>
  <b>Just seeing you sitting here all by yourself in your uniform</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You remind me of a girl I once knew</b>
</p><p>
  <b>God, by now she's well in middle age</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Probably 41, 42</b>
</p><p>Was Dr. Pomatter trying to court Jenna? If so, he wasn't doing a very good job.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Huh, thank you?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What? Oh my God, no, no, no, no</b>
</p><p>Some of the queens covered their snickers.</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She was a waitress at a shop I used to frequent quite a lot</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Nice teeth and small hands</b>
</p><p>The queens knew then that Dr. Pomatter used to have a crush on the now-middle-aged waitress.</p><p>
  <b>And snuck me goodies, I couldn't afford them</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She was sweet to me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Reminds me of you</b>
</p><p>Now <em>that</em> was a much better compliment.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hmm, oh well, nobody ever really notices me that way so</b>
</p><p>The queens stared at Jenna, puzzled. If no one had noticed her, then how did she get pregnant?</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Somebody did right?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hmm?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, because you have the, the baby, you-</b>
</p><p><em>Exactly</em>. On another note, the queens had never seen a more awkward person than Dr. Pomatter.</p><p>(Yet.)</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She'd bake the pies fresh every day</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Like you I guess</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I must say</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If pies were books, yours would be Shakespeare's letters</b>
</p><p>The queens had no idea who Shakespeare was, and thus did not understand what an awesome pick-up line that was.</p><p>
  <b>You remind me of her</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But better</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It only takes a taste when it's something special</b>
</p><p>Ooh, title drop.</p><p>
  <b>It only takes a taste when you know it's good</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sometimes one bite is more than enough</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To know you want more of the thing you just got a taste of</b>
</p><p>The queens conceded that yes, it did only take one bite to figure out you wanted more of "the thing you just got a taste of." Some good examples were the pies they were currently eating.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That reminds me of a thing we would say</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Me and my mama in the kitchen when we'd bake</b>
</p><p>Ooh, Jenna had mentioned her mother again.</p><p>
  <b>She'd say, "Jenna, you can tell the whole story with a taste"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, that's exactly what I mean</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I swear that as those flavours mixed and melted</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I could hear the sirens sing</b>
</p><p>. . .Wow. The queens could see that Dr. Pomatter was truly a dork.</p><p>
  <b>It was truly something special</b>
</p><p>
  <b>One taste and I want the whole thing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I must say it felt like I was carried away, intoxicated</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Made me escape the room I was in</b>
</p><p>Melinda choked back a laugh as she remembered a YouTube comment wondering whether Jenna had put pot in the pie.</p><p>
  <b>I can't help but wonder</b>
</p><p>
  <b>How your hands must have felt creating such a masterful thing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just one bite caused all that wondering</b>
</p><p>There was something. . .slightly ominous about how the string instruments played. Setting that strange note aside, the queens could definitely see the chemistry between the two.</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It only takes a taste</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA &amp; POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It only takes a taste when you know it's good</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sometimes one bite is more than enough</b>
</p><p>Their voices made a nice harmony, the queens would give them that.</p><p>
  <b>To know you want more of the thing you just got a taste of</b>
</p><p>Melinda smiled softly. Ethically, Pomatter and Jenna shouldn't be together, but they made each other happy, so that should count for something. "What do you think?"</p><p>"They seem nice together," Seymour admitted, staring at the screen thoughtfully. "But did you say she was having an affair?" Melinda nodded, and all of the queens grimaced.</p><p>"Affairs are the worst," Aragon tutted, wrinkling her nose. Boleyn sent her a wounded look. "Oh, you know what I mean!"</p><p>"He's cute," Cleves decided, pointing at the screen with her fork. The other queens looked at her while Melinda covered up her laugh. "He is!"</p><p>"Well, I'm glad you find him aesthetically pleasing," Melinda told her, snorting. She fast-forwarded through the slime tutorial, pulling a face when she realized what song was next.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>~it was agatha all along~</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. You Will Still Be Mine + A Soft Place to Land</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch the abusive husband sing, and the negative trio bake a pie.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You won't like this song very much."</p><p>The queens turned towards Melinda, mildly confused. Parr spoke up first. "Why?"</p><p>Melinda glared at the screen. "You know the abusive husband? This is his song." The queens all groaned.</p><p>"Why would they give a song to the abusive husband?" Howard shouted, the one most affected by the revelation. "Is the sexism really that bad?"</p><p>Melinda winced. "Honestly, I don't know. The writers might've done it to show just how horrible he is, but I'm definitely not an expert."</p><p>Aragon huffed, Boleyn pursed her lips, Seymour buried her face in her hands, Cleves sighed, Howard crossed her arms and pouted, and Parr shook her head. Basically, the queens all had different ways of showing their displeasure and the author has a hard time writing them all.</p><p>Melinda pressed "play" hesitantly, and everyone turned towards the screen.</p><p>
  <b>[EARL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Remember my clean shape</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Back in our old days</b>
</p><p>The queens looked over Earl with distaste.</p><p>
  <b>When we were just kids</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I had my six string</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And you had your own thing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Though I don't remember what it is</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Ugh. </em>
</p><p>
  <b>I wrote you love songs</b>
</p><p>Oh, that wasn't so bad. Then again, that was probably how all abusive relationships started. "Not so bad."</p><p>
  <b>And you liked that sad one</b>
</p><p>The queens wondered if Jenna was ok. Then knew that she wasn't.</p><p>
  <b>So I played all the time</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What was that one line?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Something 'bout sunshine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I sang it every night</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Where the sun don't shine </b>
</p><p>Melinda snickered, but sadly the queens didn't understand.</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No, that can't be it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When the sun won't shine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What was it baby?</b>
</p><p>Jenna looked so meek, so timid. The queens' hearts ached for her.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, sung]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Till the sun don't shine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You will still be mine</b>
</p><p>That was a huge red flag. Redder than the blood of angry men, even.</p><p>
  <b>[EARL, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That's right</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Man what a world we're in</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So much is happening</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And mostly to me</b>
</p><p>The queens, repulsed, leaned away from the screen.</p><p>
  <b>We've come such a long way</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't turn it back now babe</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You're my family </b>
</p><p>Gods, poor Jenna.</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Now promise me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Till the end of time</b>
</p><p>
  <b>These are ties that bind </b>
</p><p>What a <em>sleazeball</em>.</p><p>
  <b>Sing it honey</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>'Till the sun don't shine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA &amp; EARL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You will still be mine</b>
</p><p>The queens noted that Jenna had taken to singing lower, while Earl stayed high. It was horribly sad.</p><p>
  <b>[EARL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Mine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Mine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Mine</b>
</p><p>Everyone shuddered as Earl delivered his one, last, creepy "mine." It was like he was reaffirming the fact that Jenna was his.</p><p>"So. . .?" Melinda trailed off, hesitant. She snatched up the remote and started fast-forwarding quickly.</p><p>"I hate him," Howard announced.</p><p>"Me too!"</p><p>"Yeah!"</p><p>The queens chimed in, talking about how much they hated Earl, and Melinda couldn't blame them.</p><p>"Yeah, that makes sense," she agreed. "He doesn't sing for the rest of the musical, though, I think. Anyway, the next song is called 'A Soft Place to Land,' and I think Jenna, Becky, and Dawn are baking a pie together. It's very soothing!" Melinda fast-forwarded to the right spot and pressed play.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sugar</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sugar, butter, flour</b>
</p><p>Ah, she's repeating the lyrics again.</p><p>
  <b>Sometimes I still see her</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My mother the dreamer</b>
</p><p>The queens stared hard at the screen, Jenna's mention of her mother piquing their interest.</p><p>
  <b>She'd say, "Nothing's impossible child"</b>
</p><p>Gods, her voice was amazing.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A dream needs believing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To taste like the real thing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Like some stranger you recognize</b>
</p><p>The queens turned toward Melinda, eyes wide. The harmonies were so good!</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY &amp; DAWN, <em>JENNA</em>]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So pure</b>
</p><p>
  <b><em>So pure, so electric</em> So electric</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So sure</b>
</p><p>
  <b><em>So sure, so connecte</em>d So connected</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Gods.</em>
</p><p>These women were queens in every way but paper.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To those little believers inside</b>
</p><p>
  <b>May we all be so lucky</b>
</p><p>
  <em>GODS.</em>
</p><p>
  <b>But dreams are elusive</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The kind we've gotten used to is</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, <em>DAWN</em>, <span class="u">BECKY</span>]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Nothing I can feel</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Nothing I can hold</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">Nothing I can have</span>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Nothing that I know</b>
</p><p>Absolutely <em>breathtaking</em> vocals aside, the lyrics were a little pessimistic. The queens hoped that Jenna, Dawn, and Becky would soon achieve their dreams.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Dreams come and they go</b>
</p><p>Now that was true.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, <em>BECKY &amp; DAWN</em>]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But hold them and keep them </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>But hold them and keep them</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>And know that you need them </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>And know that you need them</em>
  </b>
</p><p>This entire soundtrack would make for some amazing lullabies.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When your breaking point's all that</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA, BECKY &amp; DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You have</b>
</p><p>Melinda hummed in agreement.</p><p>
  <b>A dream is a soft place to land</b>
</p><p>Ooh, title drop.</p><p>
  <b>May we all be</b>
</p><p>
  <b>So lucky</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sugar, butter, flour</b>
</p><p>The queens relaxed, all tension leaving their bodies.</p><p>Melinda smiled. "What did you think?"</p><p>"I'm sure you already know, but their voices are just-" Boleyn sighed happily, effectively finishing her sentence.</p><p>"Yeah," Aragon agreed. The other queens raised their eyebrows.</p><p>Parr waved her fork. "Are there any other female-led musicals like this?"</p><p>"I think so! Off the top of my head, there's Mean Girls, Bring it On, maybe Heathers. I'm not exactly sure what counts as a female-led musical, though." Melinda explained. The queens all nodded, and the teen grinned satisfactorily as she started fast-forwarding to the next song.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Never Ever Getting Rid of Me + Bad Idea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Dawn ward off an unwanted suitor and Jenna and Pomatter start their affair.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had to watch a specific part of a waitress bootleg so I hope you enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What's next?" Cleves asked, fascinated by the screen.</p><p>"A song called 'Never Ever Getting Rid of Me," Melinda responded. "It's sung by Ogie, the guy who Dawn went on a date with. He's kinda creepy, to be honest." She wrinkled her nose.</p><p>"Why?" Howard asked warily.</p><p>"I'm pretty sure he won't leave Dawn alone and won't respect her boundaries," the teen explained. "I could be wrong though, this is the first time I'm watching this too."</p><p>The queens inspected Ogie onscreen, tsk-ing. Melinda shook her head, and pressed play.</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Please, just take the mixed bouquet and leave! Just leave!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[OGIE, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Dawn!</b>
</p><p>The queens leaned forward to hear better.</p><p>
  <b>(sung)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I will never let you let me leave </b>
</p><p>
  <b>I promise I'm not lying</b>
</p><p>. . .Wow. For one thing, Ogie talked quickly, so the queens had to concentrate to figure out what he was saying. For another thing. . .Ogie was strange.</p><p>
  <b>Go ahead ask anybody who has seen me trying, </b>
</p><p>Melinda wondered if Ogie had ever harassed any other girls like Dawn, and what they had to do to get him to go away.</p><p>
  <b>I'm not going</b>
</p><p>
  <b>If it seems like I did I'm probably waiting outside</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Such a stubborn man you'll likely never meet another</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When we have our family dinner you can ask my mother</b>
</p><p>"When"? The queens glanced at each other in worry.</p><p>
  <b>She's the best</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll learn more about her on our family history test</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm gonna do this right</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Show you I'm not moving</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wherever you go, I won't be far to follow </b>
</p><p>Talk about creepy. . .</p><p>
  <b>Oh, I'm gonna love you so</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll learn what I already know</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me</b>
</p><p>Ooh, name drop. Also, the queens were sufficiently creeped out.</p><p>
  <b>You can try, oh, but I</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ready for your check?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[OGIE, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Not quite. Pie for everybody!</b>
</p><p>The queens all looked down at their almost-finished pies, wondering how much it cost. Ooh, that reminded them! What was currency like in the future?</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What?!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[OGIE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I grew up an only child in a suburb of the city</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Spent my days alone my only friend was a stray kitty </b>
</p><p>The queens wondered if that was really relevant. Also, where was his parents, and his mom, who was supposedly "the best" and yet left him alone?</p><p>
  <b>Called Sardine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ENSEMBLE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sardine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[OGIE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, I thought it was hilarious to call a cat a kind of fish</b>
</p><p>The queens admitted that that was kinda funny.</p><p>
  <b>She played hard to get hissing while she scratched me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What she was trying to say was "Ogie come and catch me"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I learned quickly</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That perseverance stood between a cat and her new best friend, me</b>
</p><p>That. . .did not sound like a healthy relationship. Boleyn in particular sniffed in disdain, remembering how perseverant Henry was in courting her.</p><p>
  <b>Oh, I'm gonna do this right</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Show you I'm not moving</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Wherever you go, I won't be far to follow, oh oh</b>
</p><p>Melinda snorted when she remembered how Tiktok used this song. She wondered if they knew if the relationship described was not healthy at all.</p><p>
  <b>I'm gonna love you so</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You'll learn what I already know</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me</b>
</p><p>How many times was he going to repeat that?</p><p>
  <b>You can try, oh, but I</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>When you say never...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Gods, poor Dawn.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[OGIE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can try, oh, but I</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[CAL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you means blah, blah, blah yip yap yap yap now get back to work!</b>
</p><p>The queens snickered.</p><p>
  <b>[OGIE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh</b>
</p><p>Creepiness aside, Ogie was a good singer. <em>Everyone</em> in this musical was a good singer.</p><p>
  <b>I love you means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me</b>
</p><p>The song ended, and Melinda quickly started fast-forwarding. "What did you think?"</p><p>"He was very creepy like you said," Aragon volunteered. The other queens voiced their agreement. Hmm, they've always had like-minded opinions.</p><p>"What's this?" Seymour questioned, tilting her head as Dr. Pomatter and Jenna took the stage.</p><p>Melinda stopped fast-forwarding and dramatically flung herself face-down into an empty couch. She mumbled something, but was muffled by the pillows.</p><p>"What?" Boleyn prodded her, and her head flew up.</p><p>"I said that Jenna and Pomatter are going to be doing <em>it</em> onscreen and I don't wanna see it!" she exclaimed, before burying her head into the couch again.</p><p>"<em>It</em>?" Boleyn mouthed to the other queens, wrinkling her forehead in confusion. The other queens shrugged, and Howard nabbed the remote, pressing play.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's a bad idea, me and you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DR. POMATTER, spoken]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I know, I totally agree</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOTH]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's a bad idea, me and you</b>
</p><p>Hmm, the two repeated "It's a bad idea." Was that the song title. . .?</p><p>
  <b>[DR. POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I've never known anything so true</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOTH]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's a terrible idea, me and you</b>
</p><p>Their harmonies were amazing, as usual. The queens shouldn't've been surprised.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You have a wife</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DR. POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You have a husband</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You're my doctor</b>
</p><p>Melinda grinned into her pillow. She always loved when Jessie Mueller sang this line, it had a sort of snap.</p><p>
  <b>[DR. POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You've got a baby coming</b>
</p><p>That reminded the queens; was it possible to fornicate while with child? The would-be mothers had fornicated with Henry while they were pregnant, but were there some unforeseen risks? Maybe the people in the future had figured out things that they hadn't.</p><p>
  <b>[BOTH]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's a bad idea, me and you</b>
</p><p>The title definitely had something to do with bad ideas.</p><p>
  <b>Let's just keep kissing 'til we come to</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Heart, stop racing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Let's face it, making mistakes like this</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Will make worse what was already pretty bad</b>
</p><p>Oh, dear. The queens knew that if Jenna's husband ever found out about the affair, the consequences would be catastrophic. Hopefully she got out of that horrible situation. . .</p><p>
  <b>Mind, stop running</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's time we just let this thing go</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It was a pretty good bad idea, wasn't it though?</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, the two made as if they were going to leave, yet stayed. Big surprise there.</p><p>
  <b>It's a bad idea, me and you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's a bad idea, me and you</b>
</p><p>"Oh my gosh, we get it, you're both bad ideas," Melinda muttered, only her face was muffled so it came out like "Mm mm mm, m mph m, mm m mm mmph."</p><p>
  <b>Hold me close while I think this through</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Jenna and Dr. Pomatter started making out. Was that the <em>it</em> Melinda had mentioned?</p><p>
  <b>Yeah, it's a very poor idea, me and you</b>
</p><p>The queens all laughed in their own ways.</p><p>
  <b>Heart, stop racing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Let's face it, making mistakes like this</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Will make worse what was already pretty bad</b>
</p><p>Gods, their voices were heavenly.</p><p>
  <b>Mind, stop running</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's time we just let this thing go</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It was a pretty good bad idea, wasn't it though?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I know it's right for me</b>
</p><p>
  <em>The harmonies.</em>
</p><p>
  <b>It's the only thing I've ever done</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What if I never see myself ever be anything more</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Than what I've already become?</b>
</p><p>Huh. That was. . .an interesting thought.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I need a bad idea</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I need a bad idea</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOTH]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I need a bad idea</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I need a bad idea</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Just one</b>
</p><p>The queens were probably way over-hyping the voices in Waitress, but they were <em>so good</em>.</p><p>
  <b>Heart, keep racing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Let's make mistakes</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Let us say "So what?"</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And make worse what was already pretty bad</b>
</p><p>The queens wondered if that was a good idea.</p><p>Then immediately remembered the two repeating that it was a bad idea.</p><p>
  <b>This secret is safe</b>
</p><p>
  <b>No reason to throw it away when there's love to be had</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hold me tight as I tell myself that you might make sense</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Pomatter dramatically took off his coat, and the queens finally understood what <em>it</em> was.</p><p>
  <b>And make good what has been just so bad</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Let's see this through</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's a pretty good bad idea</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Me and you</b>
</p><p>Howard paused the television and Melinda's head popped up.</p><p>"Hey, nice job on using the remote!" she exclaimed. "Anyway. . ."</p><p>"<em>It</em> means fornicating, right?" Cleves asked, the picture of innocence. Melinda scowled, and nodded. The red queen grinned back. "Thank you kindly."</p><p>Howard wrinkled her nose. "Was that really necessary?"</p><p>"No!" Melinda pointed at her "fellow" teen. "No it wasn't!"</p><p>The other queens looked at each other and shrugged. It wasn't too bad, and they weren't surprised that Melinda knew what <em>it</em> was. She was at the cusp of courting-age, although it was worrying that she did not seem to like it. Once again, the queens wondered what exactly was different in the future.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. I Didn't Plan It + Bad Idea (Reprise)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The audience watch Waitress transition from Act 1 to Act 2.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Well then," Melinda said brightly, deftly taking the remote and fast-forwarding. "The next song is called 'I Didn't Plan It,' and it's a solo for Becky! I think. . .she's lecturing Jenna because she just caught her in an affair with Cal."</p><p>"Becky's married?" Parr asked, puzzled. It was understandable, considering the fact that she and the other queens don't know that much about Becky.</p><p>Melinda nodded. "Yeah, although her husband is in a coma or something." The queens aww-ed as the teen arrived at the right time-stamp. "Enjoy!"</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Go ahead</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Throw your rocks at me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From your little glass house</b>
</p><p>Glass house? Must be a metaphor.</p><p>
  <b>And then take off running</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You're no better than me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We've both made mistakes, haven't we?</b>
</p><p>"Mistakes." Henry had always called his affairs mistakes. Although, these two. . .the reasons for their affairs were understandable. Maybe Henry had thought his affairs were understandable, too. Ugh, the audience hated when everything wasn't as black and white as they hoped.</p><p>
  <b>I won't undo what I'm doing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sit in judgment of what makes us human</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't claim to be proud</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But my head won't be hung in shame</b>
</p><p>Becky was confident. Interesting.</p><p>
  <b>I didn't plan it</b>
</p><p>Ooh, name drop.</p><p>
  <b>But the light turned red, and I ran it</b>
</p><p>That doesn't make any sense.</p><p>. . .Must be a modern thing.</p><p>
  <b>And I'm still standing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here</b>
</p><p>Wow, she was a good singer.</p><p>
  <b>I understand it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A story written by my own hand, it's</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Life biting right at your heels</b>
</p><p>Melinda tilted her head, smiling. She had never really noticed the figurative language until now.</p><p>
  <b>I didn't plan it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But it's finally something to feel</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, I</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Look around you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ain't no saints here, baby</b>
</p><p>The Christians visibly disapproved.</p><p>
  <b>We're all just looking for a little less crazy</b>
</p><p>Now <em>that</em> was the truth.</p><p>
  <b>And sometimes, it's a hard left turn</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Down a road you never thought you'd see</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I didn't plan it</b>
</p><p>Becky repeated the title a lot, hmm.</p><p>
  <b>Taking back what's been taken for granted</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I can't stand it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm sick of the way I've been waiting to break free</b>
</p><p><em>Wow</em>.</p><p>
  <b>I needed saving</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And a good mistake needed making</b>
</p><p>The queens noticed that this matched up with Jenna and Dr. Pomatter singing about the mistake they were making by starting an affair. They had different mindsets when it came to having affairs, it seemed.</p><p>
  <b>Maybe you need the same thing</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Something to feel</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To race through your blood</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And remind you you're here</b>
</p><p>The audience tried to recall a moment when they felt their heart racing and they were reminded that yeah, they were alive. I won't tell them to you, dear reader, as they deserve their privacy, but what about you? When was a time when you felt alive?</p><p>
  <b>To open your eyes and look around</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And see the sky when you're underground</b>
</p><p>Would that be possible?</p><p>
  <b>I didn't plan it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But that's life</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I'm finally feeling alive</b>
</p><p>The audience clung to their chosen memory like a child would cling to their mother.</p><p>
  <b>It's not right, but it's mine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And it's finally something to feel</b>
</p><p>". . .Wow," Aragon said, stunned.</p><p>"I take it you guys liked it?" Melinda asked, already fast-forwarding.</p><p>"Heck yeah we did," Parr grinned, high-fiving the teen. The queens murmured their agreements, blinking quickly. Boy, were their eyes dry! They had never been exposed to a screen for a prolonged amount of time before. That. . .might not be very healthy for them.</p><p>Melinda hummed, thinking hard about how to fix the problem. The queens watched her in silence.</p><p>"What's. . .next?" Seymour asked tentatively. Melinda jolted, filing away the dry-eyes problem for another time.</p><p>"Next is a song called 'Bad Idea (Reprise)' and it's basically just Jenna and Dr. Pomatter doing it again." the teen gestured listlessly at the screen, then face-planted into the couch. Howard snatched up the remote again, and pressed play.</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hearts keep racing</b>
</p><p>Right off the bat, they repeated a line from "Bad Idea." Interesting.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>There's no mistaking</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We can't come back from this</b>
</p><p>The queens were reminded of the abusive husband and the unseen wife. Right.</p><p>[JENNA]</p><p>
  <b>Good, 'cause I want more of what I had</b>
</p><p>Melinda groaned into her pillow like the dramatic theatre kid she was.</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It feels so good to...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Feels so good...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOTH]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To be bad</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To be bad</b>
</p><p>That's another thing; what was foreplay like now? <b>(A/N: God help me)</b></p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>In the dark dark chocolate pie?</b>
</p><p>"She said seductively," Melinda mumbled.</p><p>
  <b>[BOTH]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Take this bad idea and walk this wire</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[BECKY &amp; CAL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Throw your spark into oil and fire</b>
</p><p>Ooh, Becky and some other greasy-looking dude started singing.</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN &amp; OGIE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Chance won't come every single day</b>
</p><p>Dawn and Ogie joined in!</p><p>
  <b>So don't throw it away</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Don't throw it away</b>
</p><p>Gosh, everyone in this musical is so talented!</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN &amp; BECKY]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We might burn but we might get saved</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I don't feel much fire at all these days</b>
</p><p>Aww, a tedious life was no fun.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Feels so good to</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Feels so good to be</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Bad</b>
</p><p>Melinda's head popped up and she took the remote back. "So?"</p><p>"Why do you hide your face?" Boleyn asked, prodding the pillow. Melinda pulled a face as the queens turned to her, their faces expectant.</p><p>"That's a story for another time," she said, making a mental note to teach the queens about LGBTQIA+ later. She had a feeling some of them would learn something valuable.</p><p>(Of course, that wasn't relevant to her story. She just needed to teach them about it.)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. You Matter to Me + I Love You Like a Table</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The audience watch two cute songs.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy ides of march also stan Jessie Mueller for clear skin. Also I am by no means a historian and there's probs stuff in this chapter that's historically inaccurate so if you are a historian feel free to drop some facts but just know that i won't be changing anything</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Melinda multi-tasked, talking while fast-forwarding. "The next song is called 'You Matter to Me,' and it's another duet between Dr. Pomatter and Jenna, although this time they aren't doing it for once! It's actually very heartwarming and cute."</p><p>The queens raised their eyebrows at that. They were under the impression that the affair was purely physical, but okay.</p><p>Melinda quickly pressed play, and the queens settled back.</p><p>
  <b>[POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes</b>
</p><p>. . .Wow. Right off the bat, they hit the audience with the deep line.</p><p>
  <b>They've seen things you never quite say, but I hear</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I'll stay there as long as you'll let me</b>
</p><p>That was <em>so sweet</em>.</p><p>
  <b>Because you matter to me</b>
</p><p>Ooh, name drop.</p><p>
  <b>Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You matter to me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I promise you do, you, you matter too</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I promise you do, you'll see</b>
</p><p><em>Aww</em>. The queens didn't need any more confirmation that this relationship wasn't just for sex.</p><p>
  <b>You matter to me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's addictive the minute you let yourself think</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The things that I say just might matter to someone</b>
</p><p><em>Oh, Jenna</em>. The queens shook their heads in sympathy for the woman.</p><p>
  <b>All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And for the first time, I think I'd consider the stay</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Because you matter to me</b>
</p><p>The audience collectively agreed that Jessie Mueller's voice was the best one they had ever heard and probably ever will hear.</p><p>
  <b>Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You matter to me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I promise you do, you, you matter too</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I promise you do, you'll see?</b>
</p><p>The queens wondered how Jenna's and Dr. Pomatter's voices would sound when they weren't singing a fast-paced song.</p><p>
  <b>You matter to me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>(spoken)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Dear baby</b>
</p><p><em>Aww</em>.</p><p>
  <b>I hope someday</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight</b>
</p><p>
  <b>They don't pull away, they don't look at your face</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And they don't try to kiss you</b>
</p><p>Most of the queens tried to remember when someone had done that to them.</p><p>Aragon dismissed the possibility that her parents had been that person. While she had loved them dearly, they were always too busy being a battle couple to hug their children for a while. Arthur couldn't have been that person, since they had only been married for five months. Although, he <em>was</em> a lovely person to write to. Had Henry ever done that to her? Hmm. They had been married for a long time, so it was entirely possible that he did and Aragon had just. . .forgotten.</p><p>Boleyn shook her head at the thought of her dad being her person. She loved him, and he had gotten her a job in Henry's palace, but that was the beginning of the end, so no. Her mom <em>did</em> care for her very much, so Boleyn fixed her in her mind. James Butler was voted out, as was Henry Percy. They were both nice men, but their relationships did not last long. Henry was a no-brainer. No.</p><p>Seymour's mind immediately went to her parents, remembering how much she had loved her family. She also added Henry to the list, and. . .that was it.</p><p>Cleves didn't even try.</p><p>Howard also didn't try.</p><p>Parr remembered how Thomas had held her in his arms - and remembered how he had held Elizabeth in the same way.</p><p>
  <b>All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Without an ounce of selfishness in it</b>
</p><p>Gods, the audience wanted that so badly.</p><p>
  <b>I hope you become addicted, baby</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I hope you become addicted to sayin' things</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Having them matter to someone</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Aww.</em>
</p><p>
  <b>[BOTH]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You matter to me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You matter to me</b>
</p><p>Their voices were <em>so beautiful</em>.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]                                  [DR. POMATTER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I promise you do                Come out of hiding I'm right here beside you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>                                                   As long as you'll have me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You, you matter too</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I promise you do                I do, promise you do</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You matter to me              You matter to me</b>
</p><p>The audience sighed peacefully, although Melinda grimaced when she remembered the next song.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Aragon asked, gesturing to her own face.</p><p>"The next song is a duet between Ogie and Dawn, and they're. . .getting married," the teen explained, wincing as the queens reacted <em>very</em> negatively. "I know, I know, I don't know why they would get married, the relationship doesn't sound very healthy. Maybe we missed something?" Melinda asked weakly, while the queens pouted. "The song's a bop!"</p><p>The queens didn't want their mood to be soured by not understanding yet another modern reference, and simply ignored her last addition. Melinda shrugged, and pressed play.</p><p>
  <b>[OGIE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Your white dress sparks words spontaneous</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll sing from mountaintops</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I am in love (Love, love)</b>
</p><p>Some of the queens muffled their snickers. This hadn't started out so bad.</p><p>
  <b>And I don't care who knows it</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Lucky me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I was ordinary</b>
</p><p>"Ordinary" wasn't a word to describe stalkers.</p><p>
  <b>But with your love, you see</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I am a po-o-o-o-o-oem writer</b>
</p><p>Poems were romantic. . .</p><p>
  <b>I will express this if I'm able</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you like a table</b>
</p><p>. . .What?</p><p>
  <b>My legs were carved for you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you like a table</b>
</p><p>The queens turned to Melinda, who shrugged in response. Ogie was weird.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, oh, oh, oh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[OGIE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm wood and you're glue</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Cover me with stuff</b>
</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oh, oh, oh, oh</b>
</p><p>At least the ensemble was having fun.</p><p>
  <b>[OGIE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And I will hold it up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Strong and stable</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you like a table</b>
</p><p>The queens stopped trying to understand why Ogie would compare his love to a table, and started trying to enjoy the music.</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you too</b>
</p><p>Everyone noticed that when Dawn started singing, the beat of the song changed to resemble "When He Sees Me." Neat!</p><p>
  <b>And I wanted to try and surprise you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I've written 29 new drafts of vows that didn't rhyme</b>
</p><p>
  <b>30 was a </b>
</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN &amp; GIRLS]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Drum line</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A drum line for. . .vows?</b>
</p><p>Onscreen, Dawn swung off a table and ran over to the counter, indeed starting a drum line with several other women using kitchen tools. It was <em>so adorable</em>.</p><p>
  <b>[DAWN &amp; OGIE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Promise to as best we can</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Say I do and tell you that when I see you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll want to again</b>
</p><p>Melinda leaned forward and pressed pause quickly; the queens all heaved a grateful sigh. The song was cute, and so were the references to "When He Sees Me," but that didn't stop the relationship from being unhealthy. She offered a small smile and got to fast-forwarding. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>https://uquiz.com/mLQf6w</p><p>pls take</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Take It From an Old Man + Dear Baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch a sweet song sung by a character they have no recollection of seeing before, and a short, sad song.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>listen to &amp; Juliet the musical it's got lgbtq+ rep</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What's next?" Parr asked, discarding her finished plate.</p><p>Melinda squinted, trying to remember. "Oh! The next song is called 'Take It from an Old Man,' and it's sung by an old man named Joe who was a regular customer at the diner. It's a nice, sweet song."</p><p>The queens, who had not known that Joe had existed until this song, just nodded, and Melinda pressed play.</p><p>
  <b>[JOE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Take it from an old man</b>
</p><p>Right away, there was the title drop.</p><p>
  <b>Time's just sand slipping past</b>
</p><p>
  <b>We wanna hold it in our hands,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But no one ever sees</b>
</p><p>
  <b>What falls through the cracks</b>
</p><p><em>Deep</em>.</p><p>
  <b>Take it from an old man</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My mistakes have made me,</b>
</p><p>Aww!</p><p>
  <b>And I am what I am,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And though I don't believe in silver linings,</b>
</p><p>What are silver linings?</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JOE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I believe there's something in you</b>
</p><p><em>Aww</em>! The queens loved how sweet this song was.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I believe in you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JOE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Something good is trying to break through</b>
</p><p>"A child," Melinda whispered.</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Through</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JOE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You might have to fight the good fight</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And when you think you can't</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JOE &amp; ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>You can</b>
</p><p>The queens decided then that Joe was a very sweet man.</p><p>
  <b>[JOE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Take it from an old man</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Take it from an old man</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The days don't stretch any longer</b>
</p><p>Melinda wondered if Waitress was set before or after people discovered that the longest day of the year was in summer and that the shortest day of the year was in winter. Either that or she was terribly misinformed.</p><p>
  <b>[JOE &amp; ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>They've left tracks upon my skin,</b>
</p><p>Ooh, figurative language.</p><p>
  <b>[JOE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I reckon made me stronger</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JOE &amp; ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>But I believe there's something in you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Something you should be seeing too</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Let it all on yourself at least one time</b>
</p><p>Everyone hoped Jenna would take Joe's advice.</p><p>
  <b>[JOE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Cause honey win or lose,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Win or lose</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[JOE &amp; ALL]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's one hell of a ride</b>
</p><p>"Truth!" Melinda whisper-shouted, and the queens nodded in agreement.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA'S MOTHER]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's one hell of a ride</b>
</p><p>A woman who the queens had not seen before joined the stage. Hmm, who could she be to have gained a solo line?</p><p>
  <b>[JOE]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And if you like the strength of your own,</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Honey, hold out your hands and</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Take it from an old man</b>
</p><p>"That was nice," Seymour admitted, smiling.</p><p>"Yeah, it was so sweet," Howard agreed, and the other queens nodded.</p><p>"Glad you liked it!" Melinda grinned, albeit a little sadly because of the next song. "Next is a song called 'Dear Baby,' and it's short. It's. . .sad, so I'll just let it explain why."</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Dear baby</b>
</p><p>Jenna's talking to her unborn baby again!</p><p>
  <b>If you ever wanna know the story of how we bought your crib</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'll tell you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Your crib was bought with the money I was gonna use to buy us a new life</b>
</p><p>Aww. . .</p><p>
  <b>Springfield Pie Contest is starting next week</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And you and I will not be in attendance</b>
</p><p>The queens frowned in sympathy, but were still a little confused.</p><p>"How is that sad, exactly?" Boleyn questioned, wincing. She didn't mean to come off as insensitive.</p><p>"Yeah, so I probably should've explained more." Melinda said sheepishly. "Basically, Jenna was going to go participate in the pie contest, win, and use the prize money to run away from Earl. She had saved up money prior to that so she could travel there, but Earl found out and. . .punished her."</p><p>The queens' gazes hardened at the implication of abuse.</p><p>Howard raised her hand. "Will we ever get to see Jenna leave Earl?"</p><p>"Yup!" Melinda grinned. "We've still got a little more to go, though."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yikes this song is short, but I hoped you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. She Used to Be Mine + Contraction Ballet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The queens watch Jenna sing a sad song and give birth.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>stan jessie mueller or I'll steal your wifi signal</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What's next?" Aragon asked. Melinda fumbled, remembering to start fast-forwarding.</p><p>"'She Used To Be Mine,' it's another sad song and it's basically Jenna singing about who she used to be in the third person." Melinda smirked. "Which, coincidentally, made it a perfect wlw pining song!"</p><p>The queens had absolutely no idea what that meant and stayed silent as Melinda pressed play.</p><p>
  <b>[JENNA]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It's not simple to say</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Most days I don't recognize me</b>
</p><p>Aww, already this song was sad.</p><p>
  <b>These shoes and this apron</b>
</p><p>
  <b>That place and its patrons</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Have taken more than I gave 'em</b>
</p><p>"Thievery," Boleyn hissed, causing some of the people around her to snicker. She squirmed, uncomfortable with sadness. Might as well lighten the mood, eh?</p><p>
  <b>It's not easy to know</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I'm not anything like I used to be</b>
</p><p>Now <em>that</em> was a mood.</p><p>
  <b>Although it's true</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I was never attention sweet center</b>
</p><p>That. . .was not as much a mood.</p><p>
  <b>I still remember that girl</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She's imperfect but she tries</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She is good but she lies</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She is hard on herself</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She is broken and won't ask for help</b>
</p><p><em>Aww</em>. The queens were a bit disoriented by Jenna referring to herself in the third person so much, but they could still understand enough to be sad.</p><p>
  <b>She is messy but she's kind</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She is lonely most of the time</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She is all of this mixed up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And baked in a beautiful pie</b>
</p><p>Pie metaphors! That was an interesting way to describe someone, their traits being "ingredients'' and after being thrown together and mixed around, they were baked in the fire of life.</p><p>
  <b>She is gone but she used to be mine</b>
</p><p>Ooh, title drop.</p><p>
  <b>It's not what I asked for</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Sometimes life just slips in through a back door</b>
</p><p>And the door metaphors were back.</p><p>
  <b>And carves out a person</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And makes you believe it's all true</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And now I've got you</b>
</p><p>. . .Wait. Is the "you" Jenna talking about herself in third person or someone else? The queens were <em>so</em> confused.</p><p>
  <b>And you're not what I asked for</b>
</p><p><em>Oh</em>. Jenna was probably talking about her baby. That makes sense.</p><p>
  <b>If I'm honest I know I would give it all back</b>
</p><p>
  <b>For a chance to start over</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And rewrite an ending or two</b>
</p><p>
  <b>For the girl that I knew</b>
</p><p>Ah, so Jenna regretted getting pregnant. Poor woman, it wasn't like she had any control over it.</p><p>
  <b>Who can be reckless just enough</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who can hurt but</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised</b>
</p><p>
  <b>And gets used by a man who can't love</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, Jenna.</em>
</p><p>
  <b>And then she'll get stuck and be scared</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Of the life that's inside her</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Growing stronger each day</b>
</p><p>Yup, she's talking about her child. The queens sighed gratefully for the clarification.</p><p>
  <b>'Til it finally reminds her</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To fight just a little</b>
</p><p>
  <b>To bring back the fire in her eyes</b>
</p><p>
  <em>The emotion in her voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <b>That's been gone but it used to be mine</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Used to be mine</b>
</p><p><em>Wow</em>. Was there anything Jessie Mueller couldn't sing?</p><p>
  <b>She is messy but she's kind</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She is lonely most of the time</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie</b>
</p><p>
  <b>She is gone but she used to be mine</b>
</p><p>"Aww," Cleves said, furrowing her eyebrows in pity.</p><p>"'Aww' indeed," Parr agreed. The other queens nodded, showing their sadness in several ways.</p><p>"Next?" It was a routine question, now.</p><p>"A song called 'Contraction Ballet,' it's basically just Jenna breathing as her contractions start," Melinda explained. The queens pursed their lips in sympathy. Giving birth was always an arduous trial.</p><p>Onscreen, Jenna gasped and bent over, obviously feeling her contractions start. A heartbeat echoed across the stage as the couch disappeared. The four women from "Club Knocked Up" appeared, spotlighted in the background with Jenna. The four imitated her movements, and then Jenna stumbled backwards and disappeared behind a wall. Club Knocked Up headed to the front of the stage, breathing laboriously as the heartbeat persisted. Finally, they went offstage and Jenna rolled in on a hospital bed, breathing. This was where Melinda paused the boot- sorry, slime tutorial.</p><p>The would-be mothers shook their heads.</p><p>"She'll be ok, right?" Seymour asked.</p><p>"Yup! No complications, I think, although Joe died at one point," Melinda said thoughtfully, indifferent to the shock clearly shown by the queens. "Anyway, I think it's after this that we get to see Jenna 'throw out the trash,' so to speak." She grinned, then pouted as no one got her joke. "Jenna dumps Earl."</p><p>The queens cheered, and settled back.</p><p>"Wait," Howard tilted her head. "Were those other pregnant women also giving birth at the same time as Jenna?"</p><p>"Uh. . .let's hope not, the hospital would be very busy," Melinda shrugged. "Sorry, I don't know."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Announcement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hello! Unfortunately, I'm going to put this book on hiatus. Like I've said in my Hamilton Reacts fic, my account on Wattpad got taken down, and because of that, I have to repost everything. I'm going to take this opportunity to edit this book, and actually put an effort into research.</p><p><a href="https://www.wattpad.com/1046972008-hamilton-characters-watch-the-musical">Here</a> is a chapter explaining more for my Hamilton Reacts fic, and I'm posting it here because the "things you need to know" section will be the same for this book. Soon, I'll update this chapter with the introductions chapter for the Six Reacts fic. I'm truly sorry, I know a lot of people enjoyed this fic, and I hope this hiatus won't be long!</p><p>Edit: <a href="https://www.wattpad.com/1047039893-six-reacts-to-six-introductions">here</a> is the updated link.</p><p>~Lily</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Constructive criticism is welcome, as well as any form of validation!</p><p>thank you for reading, and have an amazing day!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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